Therapy can be tough, and not every session feels productive. But one bad experience doesn’t mean therapy isn’t working. Growth often comes with discomfort, and setbacks are part of the process. Here’s how to handle it:
- Pinpoint the issue: Was it communication, unmet expectations, or feeling disconnected?
- Talk to your therapist: Honest feedback helps improve your sessions.
- Explore alternatives: Consider different therapists, approaches, or even online therapy.
- Stay committed: Progress takes time – track small wins and practice self-compassion.
Therapy is a journey, not a quick fix. Even when it feels hard, every session contributes to your healing. Keep reading for practical tips and strategies to make therapy work for you.
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Why Therapy Sessions Don’t Always Meet Expectations
Therapy doesn’t always go as planned, and setbacks are more common than you might think. Research indicates that between 20% and 75% of therapy sessions encounter challenges.
Main Sources of Dissatisfaction
"The therapeutic alliance is really the quality of the relationship, of the bond between the therapist and client… For a deep, meaningful and healing connection to happen in a therapeutic relationship, there needs to be a strong foundation of trust, respect, collaboration, safety and warmth."
Several factors can lead to dissatisfaction during therapy:
| Factor | Impact |
|---|---|
| Mismatched Goals | In community mental health centers, 76.8% of parent-youth-therapist groups struggled to agree on treatment issues. |
| Cultural Competence | A lack of cultural understanding often results in early termination or reduced progress. |
| Communication Style | Differences in how therapists and clients communicate can create obstacles. |
| Emotional Needs | Failing to properly validate or address a client’s emotions can hinder trust and progress. |
While these hurdles can be frustrating, they are often part of therapy’s natural process, which requires patience and persistence.
The Long-Term Nature of Therapy
"In long-term therapy, people are motivated to understand themselves deeply for the purpose of increasing their freedom and agency to make more satisfying choices for themselves."
Therapy is a gradual journey, and understanding its timeline can help manage expectations:
- Complex Problems Take Time: Long-term counseling is often necessary to work through deep-seated issues.
- Behavioral Patterns Don’t Change Overnight: Recognizing and altering patterns can take months, if not years.
- Positive Outcomes Are Common: Around 75% of individuals report feeling better after completing therapy.
"Unrealistic expectations are potentially damaging because they set us and others up for failure."
Each session, even the tough ones, plays a role in the larger process of growth and healing. Progress in therapy is about the bigger picture, not just individual moments.
How to Talk to Your Therapist About Problems
Opening up to your therapist might feel intimidating, but honest communication is key to making therapy work for you.
Steps to Plan Your Discussion
Talkspace therapist Famous Erwin, LMHC, LPC, suggests that preparation can ease the process:
"Having a therapy session virtually or in a traditional setting can be nerve-wracking and anxiety-provoking. Managing these emotions can ensure individuals have a positive experience with their therapist. Keeping a journal organizes your thoughts, making it easier to articulate your concerns."
To organize your thoughts, try this approach:
| Communication Strategy | Purpose | Example Phrase |
|---|---|---|
| Opening Statement | Sets a collaborative tone | "I’m feeling uncertain about…" |
| Specific Examples | Clarifies exact issues | "During our last session when…" |
| Impact Statement | Expresses personal effect | "This made me feel…" |
| Request for Change | Suggests improvements | "Could we try…" |
"By telling the therapist how you feel, you’re giving him more information about you, helping him to understand you better. Also, facing conflict may be a part of your problem, and therapy can be an ideal laboratory to learn to practice confrontation in a healthy way. Finally, you’re the customer, and if you’re not getting the service you want you have every right to speak up."
Signs You Need Treatment Changes
If your discussions with your therapist aren’t leading to improvement, it might be time to consider adjustments in your treatment.
When Immediate Action Is Needed:
- You consistently feel judged or shamed after sessions.
- The therapist makes unrealistic promises about recovery timelines.
- Confidentiality is breached without your consent.
- The therapist dominates the session, leaving little room for your input.
When a Discussion Might Help:
- Progress toward your goals feels stagnant.
- Concerns arise about the therapist’s understanding of your cultural background.
Therapy is a partnership. A good therapist will value your feedback and adjust their approach to meet your needs. If you’re thinking about switching therapists, consider discussing your concerns first. This conversation alone can sometimes address the issues and deepen your therapeutic relationship.
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Other Options for Better Therapy Results
If your current therapy approach isn’t working, considering alternatives might help you find a better fit. In fact, 58% of psychologists now offer remote services, providing more options for mental health care.
Finding a Different Therapist or Method
The bond between you and your therapist plays a huge role in your progress. Research highlights that this connection is the most important factor in achieving positive results. If you’re thinking about making a change, here are some key factors to consider:
| Consideration | What to Evaluate | Why It Matters |
|---|---|---|
| Specialization | Expertise in your specific concerns | Helps ensure more focused treatment |
| Therapeutic Approach | CBT, DBT, mindfulness techniques | Some methods are better for certain issues |
| Cultural Competence | Awareness of your background | Builds trust and understanding |
| Credentials | Proper licensing and certifications | Ensures professional standards |
Lynn Bufka, a psychologist and spokesperson for the American Psychological Association, explains:
"I think probably the number one thing is do I feel respected in this relationship? Do I trust this person?"
If you’re searching for a new therapist, here’s how to get started:
1. Research Therapy Types
Different therapy styles suit different needs. For instance, marriage and family therapists specialize in relationship challenges, while psychologists can provide testing for conditions like ADHD.
2. Check Credentials
Make sure the therapist is licensed and covered by your insurance. Use trusted directories like psychologytoday.com or goodtherapy.org to find qualified professionals in your area.
3. Try Consultations
It takes time to build a connection. Experts suggest attending three to five sessions with a new therapist to evaluate the fit.
If in-person therapy isn’t working for you, virtual therapy could be a practical alternative.
Online Therapy Services
For many conditions, virtual therapy can be just as effective as in-person sessions. A 2020 study found that online cognitive behavioral therapy worked as well as face-to-face CBT for treating depression.
Advantages of Virtual Therapy:
- Higher attendance rates compared to in-person visits
- Sessions often cost between $65 and $109, compared to $100-$200 for traditional therapy
- Flexible scheduling and no travel time
- Access to a wider pool of specialists
Platforms like Televero Health offer a range of virtual mental health services, including:
- Same-week appointments
- Insurance-covered sessions
- HIPAA-compliant video consultations
- Services for ages 5 to 95
- Options for medication management
Mark Pines, a licensed marriage and family therapist and CEO of OpenCounseling, points out:
"Online counseling can bring people to therapy who would otherwise not go."
A recent study showed that 93% of telepsychiatry patients felt they could communicate just as effectively online as in person, with 96% expressing satisfaction with their sessions. This combination of accessibility and high satisfaction makes online therapy a strong option for many seeking mental health support.
Getting Back to Effective Therapy
Rebuilding trust after a less-than-ideal therapy experience takes time and effort. Studies reveal that feeling stuck or discouraged is a common part of the therapeutic process.
Ways to Stay Committed
Staying motivated in therapy often comes down to setting realistic goals and keeping track of progress. Here are some practical strategies that many therapy clients use to stay focused:
| Strategy | How to Apply It | What It Helps With |
|---|---|---|
| Goal Setting | Break big goals into smaller, weekly steps | Creates a sense of accomplishment |
| Progress Tracking | Use a journal or apps to monitor your journey | Gives you a clear view of improvements |
| Regular Check-ins | Plan monthly reviews with your therapist | Keeps treatment aligned with your goals |
"Feeling disappointed in yourself when you are less productive in therapy, miss an appointment or forget to apply a technique in everyday life can challenge your motivation to stay committed to therapy. But, that’s a normal part of the process and of life. Rather than being hard on yourself, practice self-compassion instead. You’re more likely to get back on track when you practice self-forgiveness."
Daily Mental Health Habits
Daily routines can play a big role in supporting your therapy. Research shows that lifestyle changes can work hand-in-hand with traditional therapy methods.
Here are some useful habits to incorporate into your day:
- Physical Activity: Even short workouts can improve your mood and ease anxiety.
- Mindful Eating: Focus on whole foods like vegetables, fruits, and grains.
- Sleep Hygiene: Stick to consistent sleep patterns and reduce screen time before bed.
- Social Connection: Spend quality time with loved ones. Studies suggest people are 12 times more likely to feel happy on days they spend 6–7 hours with friends and family.
These habits not only complement therapy but also help build a solid foundation for mental well-being.
Mental Health Support Resources
In addition to personal habits, external resources can make a big difference in your therapy journey. A strong support network can reinforce your progress. Here are some options to consider:
-
Professional Support:
- Televero Health offers virtual therapy appointments with licensed professionals.
- Sessions are often covered by insurance.
- Services available for all age groups (5–95).
- HIPAA-compliant video consultations ensure privacy.
-
Community Resources:
- Local support groups and mental health workshops.
- Online therapy communities for shared experiences.
- Crisis hotlines for immediate help.
"I vividly recall celebrating my first breakthrough in therapy. When you notice progress, acknowledge it with someone you trust."
Therapy isn’t a straight line – setbacks are part of the process. The key is to keep an open dialogue with your therapist about what works and what might need adjustment.
Conclusion: Steps for Future Success
Turning a challenging therapy session into an opportunity for growth is possible. Research suggests that setbacks can highlight areas for improvement and inspire new goals.
Here’s a practical framework to help you move forward:
| Action Step | Implementation | Expected Outcome |
|---|---|---|
| Daily Time in Nature | Spend 15 minutes outdoors practicing mindful walking | Boosts mood, reduces anxiety, and enhances cognition |
| Track Your Progress | Journal insights and improvements from therapy | Provides clear evidence of personal growth |
| Plan Communication | Prepare key discussion points before sessions | Leads to more productive and focused therapy conversations |
These steps align with earlier strategies to rebuild confidence in therapy. Even small actions, like spending time outdoors, have been shown to improve mental clarity and emotional well-being.
Additionally, consider these focused approaches to reinforce your progress:
- Lean on Support: Use your existing support network and explore resources like Televero Health’s virtual therapy options.
- Practice Self-Compassion: Embrace therapy’s ups and downs with kindness toward yourself.
- Stay Consistent: Dedicate 20 to 90 minutes regularly to therapeutic activities for noticeable mental health benefits.
