Healing is messy, unpredictable, and rarely linear. If you think recovery means constant happiness or steady progress, think again. Healing is an emotional rollercoaster – filled with ups, downs, and even setbacks – but that’s normal. It’s about progress, not perfection.
Here’s what you need to know about healing:
- It’s not about feeling happy all the time. Recovery involves processing a mix of emotions – anger, sadness, fear, joy, and more.
- Healing isn’t a straight path. Expect setbacks, plateaus, and unexpected turns.
- Your brain rewires itself during recovery. Thanks to neuroplasticity, new habits and thought patterns emerge, but this process can bring up buried emotions.
- Small wins matter. Subtle changes like better sleep, setting boundaries, or managing emotions are signs of progress.
- Practical tools help. Journaling, mindfulness, and therapy can guide you through tough moments.
Healing is a journey, not a destination. Accepting its complexity and embracing the highs and lows can help you grow stronger over time.
WHY HEALING IS HARD | MENTAL HEALTH HEALING
Common Myths About Mental Health Recovery
Even with growing awareness of mental health, outdated ideas about recovery still linger. These misconceptions can set up unrealistic expectations and might even slow down your progress.
Myth: Healing Means Feeling Happy All the Time
Healing doesn’t mean you’ll always feel happy. The truth is, recovering from trauma or mental health struggles involves a mix of emotions – anger, sadness, fear, joy, anxiety, guilt, and even shame – as you work through long-buried feelings. Trauma expert Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSW, explains it simply: “Emotions just are”. Much like healing a broken bone, recovery can bring discomfort and setbacks along the way.
Myth: Recovery Follows a Straight Path
Many people picture recovery as a steady, predictable climb, but the reality is far more complex. It’s a personal journey filled with progress, setbacks, and plateaus. Filipe Bastos, MSc Psychology and Founder of MindOwl, captures it well: “Healing isn’t linear.” Instead, it’s more like navigating a winding road or climbing a mountain with unexpected twists and turns. Setbacks are a natural part of this process, emphasizing the non-linear nature of healing. Understanding that recovery often moves in spirals rather than straight lines can help you set realistic goals and build resilience. Models like the Stepped Care Model also highlight recovery as a flexible, evolving process, providing opportunities to learn and adapt over time.
Believing in these myths doesn’t just create false expectations – it can also fuel stigma, making people hesitant to seek help. Accepting the full range of emotions during recovery allows you to seek support more openly and appreciate your progress, no matter how uneven the journey might feel. Breaking down these myths is essential for understanding the real emotional and neurological changes that come with healing.
How Your Brain Changes During Recovery
Understanding the changes your brain undergoes during recovery can shed light on why healing often feels so unpredictable. Your brain is actively rewiring itself, creating new pathways to support your journey toward health.
How Your Brain Forms New Patterns
One of the most fascinating aspects of the brain is neuroplasticity – its ability to reorganize and form new neural connections throughout life. This process plays a key role in learning, memory, and recovery from injuries. Essentially, neuroplasticity creates workarounds for damaged areas and strengthens healthier connections.
During recovery, neuroplasticity helps establish new habits and thought patterns at a faster pace. Brian Fritz, P.T., DPT, Regional Director of Rehabilitation for Select Medical, explains:
"Neuroplasticity is the process of creating new neural connections to bypass damaged areas of the brain… These newly forged connections can hopefully restore functions that were lost as a result of the brain injury".
This rewiring happens in stages – from immediate activation of alternative networks to long-term restructuring of synaptic pathways. Therapeutic approaches, such as mindfulness and cognitive exercises, can actively harness neuroplasticity to repair impaired pathways and encourage healthier behaviors. Research even shows that mindfulness can increase gray matter density in areas of the brain linked to self-awareness and emotional regulation. In other words, the strategies you’re practicing in therapy are reshaping your brain at a structural level.
Here’s a perspective to consider: At birth, each neuron in your cerebral cortex has roughly 2,500 synapses. By age three, this number skyrockets to 15,000 synapses per neuron. While the average adult has about half that number of synapses, your brain retains its ability to form new connections throughout life, especially when you engage in mentally stimulating activities or therapeutic practices.
However, as these new patterns emerge, they can bring up emotions you may have buried long ago. Let’s explore why this happens.
Why Difficult Emotions Surface During Healing
A surprising part of recovery is the sudden reappearance of old, painful emotions – sometimes long after you thought you’d moved past them. This isn’t a setback; it’s often a sign that your brain feels safe enough to process what it couldn’t handle before.
The return of these emotions usually means you’re ready to heal on a deeper level. Trauma recovery often unfolds in stages: an initial shutdown, followed by the development of coping mechanisms, and then the resurfacing of emotions once you have the stability to face them. Therapist Lisa Nosal, MFT, explains it this way:
"When the fear, the anger, the sadness, the helplessness, the heartache – all the emotions that were perhaps too painful, too complicated, or just ‘too’ in the immediate aftermath of the trauma – suddenly reemerge, your new task is to sit with those emotions and let them have their say".
Unprocessed trauma often manifests in the body as tension, pain, or patterns of dysregulation. Your brain and body are designed to protect you by suppressing overwhelming feelings until you’re in a safer space to process them. So when these emotions resurface, it’s not random – it’s an invitation to work through what was once too much to bear.
You might notice physical sensations like tremors, tingling, or shifts in muscle tension. Emotional releases such as crying, laughing, or mood swings may also occur, along with changes in sleep, energy, or appetite. These are normal signs that your nervous system is releasing stored trauma and creating space for healthier patterns.
Healing is about integrating your past into your present in a way that fosters clarity and resilience. Thanks to neuroplasticity, your brain can rewire itself – even from childhood trauma – through positive experiences. Each time these emotions resurface, your brain gets another chance to build new neural pathways that support long-term healing and strength.
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Tools to Help You Through the Healing Process
As your mind begins to adapt and heal, having practical tools at your disposal can make a world of difference. These strategies not only help you manage the emotional highs and lows but also allow you to track your progress and build resilience. They serve as a bridge between understanding how your brain is changing and taking active steps to manage your recovery.
Using Journaling to Track Your Progress
Journaling is more than just putting pen to paper – it’s a way to document your journey, uncover patterns, and witness your growth over time. By writing regularly, you can track subtle improvements and gain insights into your emotional state.
"Tracking progress through journaling enables individuals to reflect on their emotional journey. Over time, writers can observe patterns in their thoughts and feelings, illustrating personal growth and changes in mindset. Regular entries can highlight improvements in coping strategies, resilience, and emotional well-being, providing a tangible record of their healing journey."
The beauty of journaling lies in its simplicity and flexibility. You don’t need to write perfectly or spend hours doing it. Even dedicating five minutes a day can be transformative. Use prompts to guide your reflection, such as: What emotion am I feeling right now? or What triggered this feeling, and how did I respond differently compared to a month ago? This practice not only helps clarify your emotions but can also reduce their intensity over time.
Once you’ve established a journaling routine, consider incorporating mindfulness exercises to stay grounded in the present.
Simple Mindfulness Exercises for Difficult Moments
Mindfulness is a powerful way to create space between what’s happening and how you respond to it. Simple techniques, like the STOP Technique, encourage you to pause, take a deep breath, observe your thoughts and emotions without judgment, and proceed with intention. Similarly, the RAIN Technique helps you recognize and allow your feelings, investigate them with curiosity, and nurture yourself with kindness.
For a quick reset, try the Five Senses Exercise to anchor yourself in the present moment or the 3-Minute Breathing Space for a short but effective mindfulness break.
As mindfulness pioneer Jon Kabat-Zinn puts it:
"Mindfulness is awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally."
These exercises can be especially helpful during tough moments, giving you the tools to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively.
Getting the Most from Virtual Therapy
Virtual therapy has become a lifeline for many, offering accessibility and convenience. To make the most of your sessions, start by creating a dedicated, quiet space where you feel comfortable and free from distractions. Treat each session as you would an in-person appointment – dress appropriately, set clear goals, and jot down a few topics or questions you’d like to address.
Technology can make or break your experience, so ensure your internet connection is strong, test your device and platform beforehand, and consider using a computer for better video quality. Silence notifications and close unnecessary apps to stay fully engaged.
Dr. Deborah Cabaniss of Columbia University highlights the benefits of virtual therapy:
"The main advantage of mental health treatment via telehealth is that it’s incredibly accessible."
After each session, take a moment to reflect on what you discussed and how you feel. This reflection helps solidify the insights you’ve gained and prepares you to put new strategies into action.
Virtual therapy platforms like Televero Health make it easier than ever to access care. With a secure, HIPAA-compliant system, you can connect with board-licensed practitioners for therapy and medication management – all from the comfort of your home. Same-week appointments and easy insurance verification ensure that support is just a few clicks away, helping you stay on track with your mental health journey.
Signs of Progress You Might Not Notice
When you’re in the thick of healing, it’s easy to focus on those big, life-changing moments – the times when you feel a dramatic shift in your well-being. But the truth is, real progress often happens quietly, through subtle changes that might not grab your attention right away.
As trauma specialist Kaytee Gillis, LCSW, puts it:
"Healing from trauma is often an invisible process – so much so that we often don’t realize how far we have come until we look back at what we have overcome."
These small, quiet shifts in your emotions and thought patterns are just as meaningful as any major breakthrough. They can validate your efforts and serve as powerful reminders that you’re on the right path. Over time, this gradual progress not only changes how you feel inside but also reshapes how you engage with the world around you.
How Your Relationships and Emotions Improve
One of the first signs of progress might show up in your relationships and emotional responses. You could find yourself speaking up more confidently – letting others know when something doesn’t sit well with you or asking for what you need without the overwhelming anxiety you once felt.
Setting boundaries might start to feel more natural, almost instinctive. For instance, you might say "no" to plans that leave you drained or step away from conversations that typically bring negativity. These small but meaningful changes show you’re prioritizing your well-being.
Your communication style might also shift. You may notice yourself using "I" statements more often, sharing your feelings without assigning blame or shutting down entirely. Research even shows that celebrating small victories can reduce the risk of relapse by about 35% and strengthen social connections, which can sustain recovery by up to 50%.
Another encouraging sign? You start validating your own emotions. Instead of feeling shame or trying to push difficult feelings away, you’re learning to sit with them. This ability to face your emotions head-on is a major step forward. These changes go beyond relationships – they reflect deeper emotional and physiological healing.
Why Small Changes Matter More Than You Think
The tiny shifts you experience each day might actually carry more weight than those dramatic "aha" moments. Your body and mind often send subtle signals of recovery. Maybe you’re remembering where you left your keys more easily, recognizing emotions before they spiral, or noticing when you’re full without overeating.
Other signs might include better sleep, quicker reflexes, or a calmer response to stress – indications that your nervous system is finding balance again. You may even feel more composed when unexpected challenges arise, a sign that your brain is building healthier response patterns.
As James Clear, an expert on habits, points out, small, consistent changes often lead to the most meaningful transformations over time. Instead of trying to overhaul everything at once, focusing on these incremental steps can create lasting progress.
You might also notice improvements in your physical awareness, like feeling more connected to your surroundings. This could mean that trauma is gradually loosening its grip on your nervous system.
Recognizing these small wins helps shift your perspective from what still feels difficult to the progress you’ve already made. This shift can boost your self-confidence and motivate you to keep going. Whether it’s setting a boundary without guilt or enjoying a peaceful night’s sleep, each small victory builds on the last, reinforcing the positive changes you’re making and showing you just how far you’ve come.
Conclusion: Accepting That Healing Is Complex
Healing rarely follows a straight path. Expecting constant progress can lead to frustration and self-doubt. Instead, embracing the natural ebb and flow of recovery allows you to develop resilience and self-compassion.
When you accept that healing has its ups and downs, you can stop being overly critical of yourself on tough days. It’s important to remember that everyone’s journey is different, and there’s no universal timeline for recovery.
"You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you’re, what you can rise from, and how you can still come out of it." – Maya Angelou
This powerful reminder from Maya Angelou highlights that setbacks are not failures – they are opportunities to grow stronger. Healing is about managing challenges, building resilience, and creating a meaningful life. It’s an ongoing process, not a final destination.
Even the smallest victories – like setting boundaries without guilt, sleeping better, or expressing your needs – are steps forward. These moments add up over time and contribute to meaningful change.
During difficult times, it’s especially important to treat yourself with kindness. Self-compassion, reaching out for support, and maintaining healthy habits like journaling or spending time in nature can help reinforce your progress.
You are not alone in this process. If you’re using Televero Health’s virtual platform, staying connected and patient with your journey is essential.
"Healing isn’t a task, it’s a practice which we must face and turn into a healthy habit." – Safe House
Your path to healing is entirely your own. It’s built on resilience and persistence, not perfection. The tools we’ve discussed – like mindfulness, journaling, and virtual therapy – are there to support you through this challenging but transformative process. Even on the hardest days, remember: you are growing stronger and moving forward.
FAQs
Why are setbacks a normal part of healing, and how can I handle them effectively?
Setbacks are a normal part of the healing journey – they don’t mean you’re failing. Recovery rarely follows a straight path; it’s often a mix of progress and challenges shaped by life events, emotional triggers, or unexpected hurdles. While these moments can feel frustrating, they also offer a chance to learn more about yourself and grow stronger.
When setbacks happen, start by practicing self-compassion. Remind yourself that healing isn’t a race and takes time. Take a moment to reflect on the progress you’ve already made and consider adjusting your goals if needed. Healthy habits like journaling, mindfulness, or even a short walk can help you find your footing again. And don’t shy away from reaching out to trusted friends, family, or a mental health professional for support. These setbacks are just temporary pauses, not the end of your progress.
What is neuroplasticity, and how can it help with mental health recovery?
Neuroplasticity refers to the brain’s remarkable ability to reshape and reorganize itself by forming new neural connections in response to experiences, learning, and healing. This adaptability plays a key role in helping us move past negative thought patterns and develop healthier emotional responses, which is especially valuable when navigating mental health challenges like anxiety or depression.
You can encourage neuroplasticity by engaging in activities that challenge and stimulate your brain. For example, mindfulness practices such as meditation are known to reduce stress and improve emotional balance. Picking up a new skill – whether it’s learning to play an instrument or diving into a new hobby – can also spark brain development. Additionally, regular physical exercise and sticking to a steady daily routine can further boost neuroplasticity, supporting your overall mental well-being.
What are some small but important signs that I’m making progress in my healing journey, and how can I notice them?
Healing often unfolds in ways so subtle that they might slip past unnoticed. Perhaps you find yourself managing stress with a little more ease, or negative emotions no longer feel as overpowering. Maybe your thoughts are leaning toward a more balanced and hopeful outlook. Even simple changes, like rekindling joy in a favorite hobby or feeling a stronger urge to reach out to loved ones, are powerful indicators that progress is happening.
One way to notice these changes is by keeping a journal. Writing down your emotions, thoughts, and daily experiences can reveal patterns of growth that might otherwise go unnoticed in the moment. Another helpful practice is mindfulness – it can sharpen your awareness of these small yet meaningful victories, giving you the chance to honor and celebrate each step forward in your healing journey.