What If I Don’t Like My Therapist?

You’re three sessions in, and something doesn’t feel right. Your therapist seems nice enough, but the conversations feel off. Maybe they interrupt too much. Maybe they don’t say enough. Maybe they use terms that rub you the wrong way. Whatever it is, you’re left with an uncomfortable question: “What if I just don’t like my therapist?”

At Televero Health, we hear this concern more often than you might think. Even people who’ve been in therapy for years sometimes whisper it like a confession: “I think I need a different therapist, but I feel bad saying so.”

Let’s talk about this openly. Not liking your therapist doesn’t make you difficult, ungrateful, or too picky. It’s important information that deserves your attention.

Why Fit Matters

Therapy isn’t like seeing a specialist for a medical procedure. The relationship between you and your therapist is actually central to the healing process. Research consistently shows that this relationship – what therapists call the “therapeutic alliance” – is one of the strongest predictors of successful outcomes.

A good fit doesn’t mean your therapist is always easy to be with. Growth often involves some discomfort. But there should be an underlying sense of trust, respect, and understanding.

When the fit isn’t right, therapy can feel anywhere from mildly frustrating to actually harmful. Your instincts about this matter.

Normal Discomfort vs. Poor Fit

How do you know if you’re experiencing normal therapeutic discomfort or an actual mismatch? Here are some differences:

Normal therapeutic discomfort:

Feeling challenged to consider new perspectives

Being guided toward topics that are difficult but important

Occasional misunderstandings that get repaired when discussed

Temporary awkwardness as you build trust

Discomfort that leads to insight or growth

Potential signs of a poor fit:

Feeling consistently misunderstood or judged

Sensing your therapist has a specific agenda or bias

Finding yourself unable to speak openly

Leaving sessions feeling worse without any new understanding

Not feeling respected or valued

Therapy that doesn’t seem to be going anywhere over time

At Televero Health, we understand that even with careful matching, sometimes the chemistry just isn’t there. That’s not a failure on anyone’s part – it’s simply human.

Why People Stay with Therapists They Don’t Click With

Despite feeling uncomfortable, many people continue with therapists who aren’t right for them. They might:

Worry about hurting the therapist’s feelings

Think their concerns aren’t valid or important

Fear having to start over with someone new

Wonder if all therapists are basically the same

Believe they’re being too picky or demanding

Feel grateful for any help and reluctant to complain

Not know how to bring up their concerns

These feelings are completely understandable. But staying with a therapist who isn’t right for you can prevent you from experiencing the full benefits of therapy.

It’s Not Personal (Even Though It Feels That Way)

Here’s something many people don’t realize: therapists themselves understand that not every client-therapist pairing will work out. They know that:

Different people need different approaches

Personal styles and communication preferences vary

What helps one person might not help another

Chemistry is real and important

Professional therapists don’t take it personally when someone decides they need a different provider. They want you to get the support that’s right for you – even if that means seeing someone else.

Options If You Don’t Like Your Therapist

If you’re feeling unsure about your therapist, you have several options:

Talk about it directly. Many therapy issues can be resolved through open conversation. You might say, “I’ve been feeling uncomfortable about [specific concern]. I wanted to talk about this because I want therapy to be helpful.”

Give it another session or two. Sometimes, early awkwardness evolves into a strong working relationship. If you’re just starting and the concerns are mild, it might be worth seeing how things develop.

Request a different therapist. If you’ve given it time or the mismatch feels significant, it’s completely appropriate to ask for a change. At Televero Health, we make this process simple and supportive.

Ask for recommendations. If you’re ending with one therapist, they can often suggest colleagues who might be a better fit based on what didn’t work in your sessions together.

Remember, the goal isn’t to find a therapist who never challenges you or makes you uncomfortable. Growth often requires some discomfort. But that discomfort should feel purposeful and occur within a relationship of fundamental trust and respect.

How to Request a Change

If you decide you need a different therapist, here are some approaches:

Direct but kind: “I’ve appreciated our sessions, but I’m finding that I need a different approach/style. I’d like to try working with someone else.”

Through the practice: If speaking directly feels too difficult, you can contact the practice administrator: “I’d like to schedule with a different provider.”

With feedback: If you’re comfortable, sharing what didn’t work can help the practice make a better match next time: “I think I’d work better with someone who is more/less directive.”

At Televero Health, we want every client to have the right therapeutic fit. We never take it personally when someone requests a change, and we make the process as smooth as possible.

What to Look for Next Time

If you’re transitioning to a new therapist, use what you’ve learned about your preferences:

Did your previous therapist talk too much or too little?

Would you prefer more structure or more flexibility?

Is there a specific approach that interests you?

What communication style helps you feel comfortable?

Are there specific identities or experiences you’d like your therapist to have or understand?

Being clear about these preferences helps us match you with someone who’s more likely to be a good fit.

Remember, finding the right therapist sometimes takes a couple of tries. That doesn’t mean therapy won’t work for you – it just means you haven’t found your match yet.

The time and courage it takes to make a change is worth it when you finally experience the difference the right therapeutic relationship can make.

Ready to find a therapist who feels right for you? Start with Televero Health today.