Struggling with mental health? Here’s the truth: Your feelings are valid, no matter how they compare to others’.
- Comparison harms more than it helps. Constantly thinking others "have it worse" invalidates your emotions and can lead to guilt, anxiety, and isolation.
- Mental health isn’t a competition. Everyone’s struggles are unique, and there’s no “hierarchy” of whose challenges matter more.
- Self-compassion is key. Treat yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a friend. Research shows it reduces stress, boosts resilience, and improves overall well-being.
- Early help works. Seeking support – whether through therapy, mindfulness, or small daily habits – can improve symptoms and prevent bigger challenges later.
Takeaway: You deserve care because you matter. Stop comparing, start prioritizing your mental health, and reach out for support when needed.
Self Compassion Instead of Self-Criticism | Mental Health Webinar
The Problem with Comparing Your Struggles
Telling yourself that "others have it worse" can create a damaging mindset that stops you from seeking the help you need. This way of thinking not only distorts your perspective but also pushes you to dismiss your own feelings and needs, which can take a serious toll on your mental health.
How Comparison Leads to Neglecting Your Needs
When you compare your struggles to someone else’s, you’re essentially telling yourself that your emotions aren’t valid. This habit can make you overlook your own well-being and delay getting the support you deserve. In fact, research shows that 60% of people with a diagnosable mental health condition don’t seek treatment.
Constantly measuring your pain against others can also lead to feelings of guilt about wanting help. This guilt often spirals into isolation, cutting you off from the support system you need. Over time, this emotional invalidation can breed confusion, self-doubt, and even distrust in your own feelings.
Ignoring your needs doesn’t just leave you feeling isolated – it can also lead to feelings of worthlessness. Studies have linked frequent comparison to higher levels of depression and anxiety, creating a vicious cycle that harms your mental well-being.
Here’s the truth: dismissing your feelings doesn’t ease anyone else’s pain. Instead, it invalidates your own experience. When you deny what you’re going through, you risk feeling overwhelmed, resentful, or disconnected. This pattern of comparing struggles often leads to a toxic mix of shame, frustration, and loneliness, along with feelings of inadequacy or guilt.
Mental Health Problems Don’t Have a Hierarchy
There’s no ranking system for mental health struggles. Your anxiety about work deadlines isn’t less important than someone else’s grief over losing a loved one. Similarly, your depression during a breakup holds just as much weight as someone else’s trauma. Everyone’s challenges are real, and they all deserve attention.
Each person’s experience is unique and valid. What feels overwhelming to you might be easier for someone else to handle – and vice versa. Neither experience is more or less significant.
The habit of comparing struggles is largely shaped by societal influences like social media and cultural messages, which can distort your understanding of what constitutes a "real" problem. It’s a learned behavior, not an inherent part of human nature.
Here’s something to keep in mind: research shows that 70–90% of people see improvements in symptoms and overall quality of life after receiving mental health treatment. This applies to anyone who seeks help, regardless of whether their struggles seem "big enough" compared to others. It’s a powerful reminder that your mental health deserves care and attention, no matter what.
Why You Deserve Mental Health Care
Your mental health isn’t an indulgence – it’s essential for your overall well-being. Just like you wouldn’t ignore a broken bone or a persistent headache, your emotional health deserves the same level of care and attention.
Here’s something to think about: over 1 in 5 American adults live with a mental illness. That translates to roughly 59.3 million adults who have faced mental health challenges in recent years. These struggles can affect anyone, disrupting relationships, reducing productivity, and increasing the risk of substance abuse. Ignoring these needs doesn’t make them go away – it often makes things worse.
What Research Says About Seeking Help
Getting help early can make a world of difference. Studies show that early intervention can improve recovery, make symptoms easier to manage, and reduce the risk of relapse for conditions like depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder.
But here’s an even more compelling reason: addressing mental health challenges early isn’t just good for you – it’s also cost-effective. For every $1 spent on early intervention, there’s a return of $2 to $10 in savings by reducing healthcare costs, avoiding legal issues, and preventing productivity losses. Beyond the financial impact, seeking help equips you with tools to manage stress and navigate life’s hurdles. And remember, you don’t need a formal diagnosis to seek support. Professional guidance can help anyone, especially during tough transitions or challenging periods.
Why Self-Compassion Matters
Taking care of your mental health isn’t just about therapy or intervention – it’s also about how you treat yourself. Practicing self-compassion has been shown to improve both mental and physical health. Research reveals that self-compassionate individuals are less likely to experience anxiety, stress, and depression. On the flip side, they’re more likely to feel optimistic and happy about their future.
Here’s how it works: when you treat yourself with kindness, your body responds. It releases oxytocin (the “feel-good” hormone) and reduces cortisol (the stress hormone), creating a sense of trust, safety, and calm.
"Self-compassion is about recognizing that we are doing the best we can with what we know and what we have, and demonstrating patience and understanding for that." – Elizabeth Fedrick, PhD, LPC
The ripple effects of self-compassion are remarkable. It’s linked to healthier eating habits, regular exercise, quitting smoking, and even better adherence to medical advice. On the flip side, being overly self-critical can trigger a stress response, fueling anxiety and making it harder to bounce back from challenges. Self-compassion, however, helps calm your nervous system, reduces stress, and builds resilience.
The takeaway? Your mental health matters – just as much as your physical health. Whether you’re facing a major challenge or simply navigating life’s ups and downs, prioritizing your mental well-being is always worth it. You deserve care, kindness, and support. Always.
How to Stop Feeling Guilty and Get Help
Feeling guilty about seeking mental health care is a common experience. Despite the fact that over half of people will be diagnosed with a mental health condition at some point in their lives, stigma often holds many back from reaching out for help.
"Shame is a painful emotion caused by an awareness of guilt due to something we perceive as a shortcoming, something that we have done, or something that we have experienced that we deem as improper."
But here’s the truth: there’s absolutely no shame in taking care of yourself. That guilt you feel? It often comes from the belief that you should be able to handle everything on your own. Seeking help, however, is not a sign of weakness – it’s a sign of strength.
Addressing guilt is vital because your mental health is the foundation of your overall well-being. Below are some practical exercises to help you build self-compassion and let go of those feelings of guilt.
Exercises to Be Kinder to Yourself
Developing self-compassion can help you reframe the guilt you feel about seeking help. These exercises are simple yet effective ways to treat yourself with more kindness:
The Friend Test
When you catch yourself being overly critical, ask: “Would I ever speak to a friend the way I’m speaking to myself?” Meditation expert Stephanie Strauss puts it perfectly:
"Would you ever talk to a friend the way you talk to yourself? That hit me hard, because a friend would never have put up with any of the horrible things I used to think and say to myself."
Self-Compassion Breaks
When you’re struggling, pause and acknowledge your emotions without judgment. Remind yourself that difficult feelings are part of being human, and offer yourself the same understanding you’d give to someone you care about.
Writing for Self-Discovery
Set aside 10–15 minutes to write about your feelings. This practice can help you identify negative thought patterns and reframe them into more compassionate perspectives.
Loving-Kindness Practice
Take a moment to sit quietly and direct kind thoughts toward yourself. Start with simple phrases like, “May I be happy,” “May I be healthy,” or “May I find peace.” This can help nurture a sense of self-acceptance.
Daily Habits That Support Your Mental Health
Small, consistent actions can make a big difference in how you feel. Try adding these habits to your daily routine:
Morning Intentions
Begin each day by setting a positive intention, such as: “Today, I will be patient and understanding with myself.”
Gratitude Moments
Pause during the day to reflect on things you’re grateful for. Shifting your focus to the positive can improve your mindset.
Check-In Conversations
Ask yourself questions like, “How am I feeling right now?” or “What do I need in this moment?” These check-ins help you stay connected to your emotions.
Boundary Setting
Protect your mental energy by stepping away from social media, saying no to commitments that drain you, or avoiding conversations that spark self-doubt or comparison.
Self-Reflection Time
Spend a few quiet minutes each day reflecting on patterns that contribute to guilt or shame. This practice can help you respond to yourself with greater kindness.
If you’re looking for additional support, digital tools can make self-care even more accessible.
Apps and Tools to Help with Self-Care
Technology offers a variety of resources to support your mental health journey. Here are some tools worth exploring:
Mindfulness Apps
Apps like Headspace, Calm, and Insight Timer provide guided meditations and exercises to help you challenge negative self-talk. Many include free features, with options to upgrade.
Mood Tracking Tools
Tools like Daylio and Mood Meter allow you to log your emotions and spot patterns that might be affecting your well-being. These insights can also be helpful when talking to a therapist.
Journaling Apps
Apps such as Day One or Journey make it easier to maintain a regular writing habit, offering prompts that encourage reflection and gratitude.
Self-Compassion Resources
Dr. Kristin Neff’s website includes free exercises and guided practices that can help you develop self-compassion, especially during tough times.
Taking these steps can help you move past guilt and prioritize your mental health, one small action at a time.
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How Televero Health Can Help You
Starting your mental health journey can feel daunting, but with the right support, it becomes much easier. While self-care is an important foundation, professional guidance can take your well-being to the next level. Televero Health bridges this gap, making the transition from self-care to expert care seamless.
Convenient, Confidential, and Flexible Care
Televero Health offers therapy, counseling, and psychiatry services through its online platform, allowing you to access care from the comfort of your home. Forget about waiting rooms or rigid schedules – this platform adapts to your needs.
All sessions are HIPAA-compliant and use end-to-end encryption, ensuring your privacy is protected. With same-day availability, including Sundays and extended evening hours, Televero Health makes it easy to find an appointment that works for even the busiest schedules.
"The demand for behavioral health services continues to rise, and flexibility in scheduling is critical", says Ray Wolf, CEO of Televero Health. "By expanding our availability, we are removing barriers to care and ensuring more people can receive high-quality mental health support when they need it most."
Comprehensive Services Tailored to You
Televero Health provides support for a wide range of mental health concerns, including anxiety, depression, ADHD, OCD, bipolar disorder, PTSD, grief, stress, sleep problems, relationship challenges, postpartum issues, and substance use. Their licensed professionals deliver care through their physician-led MD CARE™ model, ensuring treatments are grounded in evidence-based practices.
Services include:
- Online therapy and counseling
- Medication management
- Psychiatric evaluations
- Ongoing support
Televero Health works with most insurance plans and Medicaid. For those without coverage, they offer competitive self-pay rates and CareCredit options. This flexibility ensures that financial concerns don’t stand in the way of getting help.
Their services cater to individuals of all ages, from children as young as 5 to seniors up to 95. Specialized care is available for children, teens, young adults, and older adults. Additionally, bilingual Spanish-speaking psychiatrists and counselors are on staff, making care accessible to a broader audience.
Supporting Your Mental Health Journey
Televero Health has earned a 97% patient satisfaction rate, a testament to their compassionate, judgment-free approach. Seeking professional help is a courageous step, and they are committed to providing care that meets you where you are – no comparisons, no judgment.
Their services extend beyond individual care. When appropriate, they offer family-inclusive sessions, involving spouses, caregivers, or other family members. For those in urgent emotional distress, immediate support is available, especially for individuals experiencing thoughts of self-harm or overwhelming emotions.
Getting started is simple. Visit the Televero Health website to fill out a "Start My Care" form or schedule an appointment directly. No referral is needed, though they do collaborate with primary care and specialty providers when necessary.
Currently, Televero Health serves individuals in Texas, Florida, Washington, Colorado, Georgia, and Connecticut, with plans to expand nationally.
Making Self-Compassion Part of Your Daily Life
Building on the methods we’ve covered, let’s explore how to make self-compassion a natural part of your everyday life. Developing this habit takes time and consistent effort, but even small, regular practices can transform the way you treat yourself.
How to Keep Up with Self-Care Habits
Consistency is key when it comes to self-compassion. Start each day with a simple intention: remind yourself to approach everything with kindness and understanding.
Begin small. Instead of trying to overhaul your entire routine, focus on one or two simple practices. For instance, spend 5–10 minutes on a self-compassion meditation, directing thoughts of kindness toward yourself.
Throughout the day, take short self-compassion breaks. When stress or self-criticism sneaks in, pause for a moment. Acknowledge what you’re feeling, and respond to yourself with the same warmth you’d offer a close friend.
Physical comfort can also be a powerful way to nurture self-compassion. Placing a hand over your heart during stressful moments can release oxytocin, helping you feel more cared for. Other comforting activities – like a warm bath, soft music, or gentle stretching – can create a sense of connection and kindness toward yourself.
Mindfulness is the backbone of self-compassion. Dedicate a few minutes daily to focus on your breathing or do a quick body scan. This practice helps you stay present and grounded.
A short journal entry each day can also reinforce self-compassion. Write down moments when you showed yourself kindness or reflect on how you overcame challenges.
"Self-compassion involves learning how to be kind, gentle, and patient toward ourselves when things in our lives get tricky, challenging, messy, sad, awful, or unbearable. It’s learning how to become our own best friend."
– Stephanie Strauss
Of course, no journey is without its bumps in the road. When setbacks happen, they can become opportunities to deepen your self-compassion.
Handling Setbacks with Kindness
Even with daily practice, setbacks are bound to happen. Instead of seeing them as failures, view these moments as chances to strengthen your self-compassion. Growth often comes from navigating challenges. When old habits resurface, take it as an opportunity to apply the skills you’ve been building.
When setbacks trigger difficult emotions – like guilt, anger, or sadness – greet those feelings with acceptance rather than resistance. Instead of criticizing yourself for feeling this way, offer the same understanding you’d give to someone you care about.
"After a setback, it’s normal to experience feelings of guilt, anger, embarrassment, or sadness. Try meeting those feelings with acceptance and self-compassion by being kind to yourself while offering words of reassurance and comfort."
– The Lyra Team
Shift your perspective by balancing optimism with realism. Recognize what happened without downplaying it, but also remind yourself that one tough day or week doesn’t erase all your progress. Ask yourself, "What would I say to my best friend in this situation?" This can help you reframe your thoughts.
Replace harsh self-talk with supportive language. Instead of saying, "I’m terrible at this", try, "This is tough right now, and that’s okay", or "I’m learning, and learning takes time". Releasing statements can also help counter negative thoughts as they arise.
Treat mistakes as learning opportunities rather than reasons for self-punishment. Setbacks can reveal what triggers self-critical patterns or highlight areas where you need extra support. Approach these insights with curiosity instead of judgment.
"You’ve been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens."
– Louise Hay
"Self-compassion is a practice of goodwill, not good feelings… With self-compassion we mindfully accept that the moment is painful, and embrace ourselves with kindness and care in response, remembering that imperfection is part of the shared human experience."
– Kristin Neff
Lastly, don’t hesitate to seek support. Whether it’s from friends, family, or a mental health professional, reaching out is an act of strength, not weakness. Asking for help shows self-awareness and a commitment to your well-being. Each time you respond to a setback with kindness, you reinforce your resilience and continue to grow.
You Deserve Care and Support
Your mental health isn’t a luxury – it’s a basic human right. As the World Health Organization puts it, "Mental health is a basic human right". This remains true no matter what you or others may be facing.
Every year, about 1 in 5 Americans experience some form of mental illness, yet more than half don’t receive the treatment they need. If you’re struggling, you’re far from alone, and there’s support available. These numbers underline why prioritizing mental health is so important.
Good mental health impacts every corner of life. It shapes how we handle stress, connect with others, and safeguard our overall well-being.
"Prioritizing our mental health is of utmost importance. It shapes how we engage with the world – our community, family, and work. We can only be present for others when we are able to care for ourselves."
– Ann Teng, DO, MPH, chief wellness officer at UHS
Seeking mental health care isn’t just about easing symptoms. It can stop small problems from growing into bigger ones, teach effective coping skills, and improve your overall quality of life. Working with a mental health professional not only helps with current challenges but also builds resilience to face future ones. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness – it’s an act of courage and self-awareness. Your struggles are valid, no matter their size. You matter, and when you’re ready, help is there.
Starting this journey might feel overwhelming, but mental health services are designed to meet you where you are. Whether you’re dealing with everyday stress, major life changes, or ongoing mental health conditions, there’s a path forward.
"Taking care of your mental health can lead to a more fulfilled and content life. It allows you to savor the good moments and better weather the storms that come your way."
– Tobi Tungl, CTS-D, RCDD
Your mental health matters – not because of how it compares to someone else’s, but because you matter. Every step you take – practicing self-compassion, setting boundaries, seeking help – is a step toward a stronger, healthier future.
FAQs
How can I stop feeling guilty about getting mental health care when others seem to have bigger problems?
It’s common to feel guilty when you compare your struggles to those of others. But here’s the truth: your mental health is just as important as anyone else’s. Challenges differ from person to person, and seeking help isn’t about measuring up to someone else’s pain – it’s about honoring your own needs and showing yourself the care you deserve.
One way to work through this guilt is by practicing self-compassion. Start small. You might try journaling to process your thoughts, speaking to yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a good friend, or taking a few minutes each day for mindfulness. These simple actions can nurture self-kindness and reinforce the idea that prioritizing your well-being isn’t selfish – it’s essential. When you take care of your own mental health, you’re also better prepared to support the people around you.
What are some simple ways to build self-compassion into my daily routine?
Practicing self-compassion every day doesn’t have to be complicated, but it can make a big difference. A good starting point is to pay attention to how you talk to yourself. Instead of being overly critical, try using kind and encouraging words. Writing in a journal about your emotions and reminding yourself that facing challenges is simply part of being human can also ease feelings of isolation.
You might also find it helpful to pause and take a few deep breaths when stress creeps in, focus on things you’re grateful for, or explore short loving-kindness meditations. These small, steady habits can gradually nurture a gentler, more supportive connection with yourself.
Why should I seek mental health support early, even if my struggles feel small?
Getting support for your mental health early on – even for things that might seem small – can make a big difference. Tackling challenges at the start helps prevent them from escalating into bigger problems. It also gives you the chance to build healthy coping skills and improve your overall well-being.
Reaching out sooner rather than later means you can get the guidance and care you need when it matters most. This can lead to better outcomes in the long run. Your mental health is important, and no concern is ever too minor to seek attention and care.