When starting therapy, you might wonder: Will I cry? Is it normal? What if I can’t stop? Here’s the short answer: Crying during therapy is completely normal and often part of the healing process. Studies show that it happens in about 15-30% of sessions, and therapists see it as a positive sign of emotional engagement. Crying can help release stress hormones, trigger mood-boosting chemicals, and even lower cortisol levels. Whether it’s sadness, relief, or frustration, tears are a natural way to process emotions and make progress.
- Is crying in therapy common? Yes, it happens in about 1 in 5 sessions.
- What triggers it? Painful memories, breakthroughs, or feeling truly understood.
- Should I feel embarrassed? Not at all – therapists are trained to support emotional moments.
- What if I don’t cry? That’s okay too! There are many ways to process emotions.
Therapy is a safe space to express yourself, whether you cry or not. Emotions are part of your journey, and there’s no “right” way to heal.
Therapist Answers "Do You Cry in Session?" and "Is Crying Good for You?"
Why People Get Emotional During Therapy
Therapy creates a space where long-buried emotions can finally come to light. Unlike casual conversations with friends or family, therapy sessions are specifically designed to help you explore your innermost feelings in a safe, nonjudgmental environment. This deliberate focus on emotional exploration often leads to more intense reactions than you might experience in everyday interactions.
In therapy, vulnerability is encouraged. Reflecting on painful memories, examining relationship patterns, or confronting uncomfortable truths about yourself naturally opens the door to deep emotions. This vulnerability isn’t a sign of weakness – it’s proof that you’re engaging with the core emotional work therapy aims to address.
In daily life, many of us invest significant energy in keeping our emotions under control. Whether at work, in social settings, or with family, staying composed often feels like a necessity. Therapy, however, strips away those external pressures, creating a space where you can express yourself freely. This freedom often leads to a powerful emotional release, setting the stage for a deeper understanding of what’s happening beneath the surface.
The Science Behind Crying in Therapy
Crying during therapy isn’t just cathartic – it’s backed by science. When you cry, your tears help rid your body of stress hormones, creating a natural way to restore emotional balance. On top of that, crying activates the release of oxytocin and endorphins, the body’s natural mood boosters. These chemicals ease both physical and emotional pain, often leaving you with a sense of relief and calm after the tears subside.
Research has shown that crying can lead to measurable positive changes, such as lower cortisol levels, reduced blood pressure, and an overall sense of relaxation. For example, studies on crying interventions have revealed emotional benefits even for individuals facing significant health challenges, like breast cancer survivors. These biological responses highlight why crying plays such an important role in emotional healing.
What Usually Triggers Tears in Sessions
Certain topics and moments in therapy are more likely to bring tears to the surface. Grieving the loss of a loved one, mourning a broken relationship, or facing unmet expectations often stirs up strong emotions. Similarly, feelings of shame or regret tied to past actions or missed opportunities can trigger intense reactions when finally confronted.
Sometimes, tears flow simply because you feel truly heard and understood. For many, therapy provides the first opportunity to share their story without fear of judgment. This sense of validation can be profoundly moving, bringing tears of relief rather than sadness. Processing trauma or unresolved emotional pain also stirs deeply buried feelings, paving the way for healing. Even moments of clarity – like recognizing self-limiting behaviors or experiencing a breakthrough – can spark tears, signaling progress in your journey.
Tears can also stem from anger or frustration. Discussing situations where you felt powerless or unfairly treated may bring these emotions to the forefront. At times, frustration with the pace of therapy itself can lead to crying. These emotional responses are not just natural – they’re important signals highlighting areas that need attention. In fact, research suggests crying happens in about 21% of therapy sessions, underscoring its role in fostering personal growth and emotional well-being.
Getting Past the Fear of Being Emotional
It’s common to feel uneasy about showing emotions in therapy, even though science tells us that crying can be a powerful tool for healing. Many worry that expressing emotions might be seen as a sign of weakness or instability. This fear often stems from societal norms that associate crying with losing control. However, therapists view emotional expression as an essential part of the healing process. Therapy is designed to be a safe space where you can express your feelings freely.
Will My Therapist Judge Me If I Cry?
The short answer is no – therapists do not judge clients for crying. In fact, they see it as a natural and expected part of the therapeutic process. Crying in therapy is a sign that you’re engaging with your emotions, which is a positive step toward healing.
As Wendy, M.S., LPC, NCC, explains:
"When my clients are crying, they’re feeling, and that’s actually a good thing. It usually means they’re opening up and processing and sorting through the hard stuff."
Therapists are trained to approach tears with understanding and empathy. They see crying as a sign of trust and progress, which can deepen the therapeutic relationship. Vulnerability in therapy often leads to greater emotional breakthroughs and healing.
How Therapists Handle Emotional Moments
Therapists don’t just observe your emotions – they actively support you through them. When you become emotional, your therapist creates a safe, nonjudgmental space where crying is seen as a healthy and normal reaction to distress.
Psychotherapist Aurora Raven Le Fay emphasizes this approach:
"Do what feels right to remain empathetic, engaged, supportive, and to allow the client the space to have their feelings without feeling like they have to change their emotional experience."
Instead of rushing past emotional moments, therapists often slow down to give you the space to process what you’re feeling. Registered Clinical Counsellor Leona Westra highlights the importance of allowing clients to experience and release their emotions as part of the healing journey.
If needed, therapists may also guide you through coping strategies, such as deep breathing or grounding exercises, to help you regain balance. However, they won’t try to "fix" your tears unless you specifically ask for help.
If you ever feel uneasy about how your therapist responds to your emotions, it’s okay to bring it up. Open communication can help ensure that your needs are met and that you feel supported.
Dr. David McPhee, Ph.D., captures the therapeutic stance on crying perfectly:
"As far as therapists are concerned you are 100% welcome to weep as much as you want and for as long as you want. Tears are healing."
How Crying Helps with Healing and Growth
Crying during therapy sets off biological responses that aid in healing and personal growth. Emotional tears release oxytocin and endorphins – your body’s natural pain relievers – which help ease both physical and emotional discomfort. As Dr. Judith Orloff explains:
"Crying is part of the body’s natural healing process."
Tears act as a kind of emotional release valve. When emotions stay bottled up, stress levels can rise, but crying helps release stress hormones and triggers chemicals that foster a sense of relief. This process not only reduces stress but also shows that you’re addressing emotions that may have been buried.
When Crying Indicates Progress
Crying in therapy often points to meaningful progress. It’s a sign that you’re confronting and processing deep emotions instead of avoiding them. Tears can bring attention to pain, grief, or stress you might not have fully acknowledged. Many times, they surface as a natural response to feeling truly heard and understood by your therapist. This moment of vulnerability can signal a breakthrough in connecting with and expressing your emotions.
Being open enough to cry also strengthens the bond between you and your therapist. This vulnerability builds trust, which can lead to deeper insights and more impactful sessions. Additionally, learning to express emotions in therapy can help you develop greater emotional honesty in your everyday life.
It’s Okay If You Don’t Cry: Other Ways to Process Emotions
While crying can be a powerful way to heal, it’s not the only path to emotional release. Many people – about 1 in 5 – don’t cry during therapy, and that’s perfectly normal. There are plenty of other ways to process emotions that are just as effective.
Creative outlets like painting, writing, or playing music can help externalize emotions and give you a new perspective on them. Physical activities such as deep breathing, yoga, or even a walk outside can calm your body while helping you process feelings. Talking through your experiences with your therapist, especially exploring how your past connects to the present, can also be incredibly healing.
The important thing is to avoid suppressing your emotions entirely, as that can lead to increased anxiety or depression. Whether you cry, create art, move your body, or simply reflect quietly, what matters most is allowing yourself to feel and process your emotions. Be kind to yourself as you explore what works best for you – there’s no “right” way to heal. Your journey is valid, and your way of expressing emotions is uniquely yours.
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Getting Ready for Emotional Sessions
Preparing for therapy sessions, especially those that involve intense emotions, is an important step toward making the experience more productive and less overwhelming. By establishing a routine that helps you feel grounded, both before and after your sessions, you can engage more effectively in the healing process.
How to Prepare Emotionally Before Therapy
Start by jotting down your reasons for seeking therapy and your goals for the session. This can help clarify your thoughts and ensure you communicate your concerns effectively. Identifying specific challenges allows your therapist to better understand your needs and tailor their approach accordingly. Setting realistic expectations for what you hope to achieve can also make the process feel more manageable.
Psychologist Pamela Garcy, Ph.D., emphasizes the importance of feeling understood during therapy:
"The therapist is attempting to understand you. If you leave thinking that the therapist has begun to understand you, and they seem curious, that may be as good as it gets in the first session."
It’s natural to feel nervous, especially if you’re new to therapy. Therapist Minkyung Chung, MS, LMHC, offers this reassurance:
"Starting therapy for the first time is scary and anxiety provoking. Not knowing what to expect heightens anxiety. It is helpful to think about what you are hoping to gain during your time in therapy so that you can convey that to the therapist."
Creating a comfortable environment can also make a big difference. Wear clothes that make you feel at ease, and if you’re attending in person, arrive a few minutes early to settle in. For virtual sessions, choose a quiet, private space where you won’t be interrupted. Reserve time before and after your session to reflect and process emotions. Simple relaxation techniques, like deep breathing, can help calm pre-session jitters. You might also prepare a few questions or topics to discuss, which can help build rapport with your therapist and set the tone for a productive session.
Taking Care of Yourself After Therapy
After an emotional session, self-care is essential to help you process and recharge. Therapy can stir up strong feelings, so it’s wise to schedule your sessions at times when you have the flexibility to rest afterward, such as later in the day.
Adopting a post-therapy routine can make the transition back to daily life smoother. This could involve something as simple as changing into comfortable clothes, practicing a quick breathing exercise, or engaging in a calming ritual. Therapist Sara Stanizai, LMFT, highlights the power of rituals:
"Rituals are intentional, predictable, soothing, and let you tap into the part of you that ‘acts without thinking.’"
Consider journaling about your session or taking a short walk to process your thoughts. Indulge in comforting activities that nurture you, like enjoying a favorite snack, soaking in a warm bath, or spending time with your pet. Some people find that humming or singing can help release emotional tension.
If you feel overwhelmed, grounding techniques can bring you back to the present. Try lying on a firm surface, using a weighted blanket, or visualizing yourself placing upsetting thoughts in a jar. Practicing self-compassion is equally important – treat yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a close friend. Supporting your overall well-being through healthy habits like regular exercise, balanced nutrition, and adequate sleep can also enhance the healing process.
Clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly, PhD, reminds us of the emotional toll therapy can take:
"Emotionally intense therapy sessions – while often exactly what your psyche needs to create change – can be exhausting."
Acknowledging the courage it takes to face these emotions is a vital part of your journey. Recognizing your bravery can fuel your motivation and resilience as you continue to grow and heal.
Common Myths About Therapy and Emotions
Many outdated beliefs about therapy create unnecessary barriers to emotional openness and personal growth.
Therapy Isn’t Just for Crisis Situations
Therapy isn’t reserved for moments of severe crisis; it’s a resource for everyone. Whether you’re navigating a life challenge or simply looking to enhance your emotional well-being, therapy can be a powerful tool. In fact, the American Psychological Association notes that individuals who attend therapy regularly – outside of crisis situations – often experience greater self-awareness, improved decision-making, and enhanced emotional balance. Think of it as preventive care for your mind, much like regular exercise or annual check-ups for your physical health.
You might turn to therapy to manage everyday stress, explore personal goals, or strengthen relationships. It’s not just about solving problems but about investing in yourself and building resilience. Regular engagement in therapy has been linked to higher levels of mental well-being and emotional stability. Instead of waiting for challenges to escalate, consider therapy as a proactive step toward personal growth and emotional health.
Therapists Don’t ‘Fix’ You – They Help You Heal
A common misconception is that therapists "fix" their clients. In reality, therapy is a collaborative process where you remain the expert on your own life. A therapist’s role is to create a supportive environment that fosters growth and self-discovery. As therapist Deborah Barber explains:
"Therapists are very subtle in guiding you down the path that you need to take. They are not going to come out and tell you ‘this is what you need to do’."
Rather than offering direct solutions, therapists help you uncover your own answers, empowering you to take charge of your healing journey. They listen, understand your experiences, and guide you toward meaningful change. Therapist Asher James describes this collaborative approach:
"It’s not about being told what you need to do; it’s about figuring out how to implement it and, often, practicing that with another human who can offer compassion, accountability, and support, through that process."
While certain methods, like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), may involve practical strategies for specific challenges, the process as a whole remains rooted in collaboration. Progress happens gradually, driven by your insights and efforts, with the therapist offering guidance and expertise along the way.
Conclusion: Accepting the Emotional Side of Therapy
Opening up to your emotions during therapy is a crucial part of personal growth. Tears, moments of vulnerability, and raw feelings aren’t signs of weakness – they’re proof of your bravery in confronting tough truths and striving for change.
Science backs this up: emotional expression plays a key role in healing. Crying, for example, happens in about 21% of therapy sessions and serves as a natural way to release stress and begin a healing process. Therapist Jessica Tappana puts it beautifully:
"Crying in therapy is not a sign of weakness or failure but a testament to your courage and willingness to grow. It’s a form of emotional release that can lead to transformative breakthroughs. So, embrace the tears; they may be your path to healing."
Studies also suggest that these emotional moments can strengthen the bond between you and your therapist, creating opportunities for deeper understanding and progress. Your willingness to be vulnerable shows emotional strength, and therapists use these moments to guide you toward meaningful insights. This highlights the supportive role they play in your journey.
Acknowledging the emotional side of therapy helps you tap into genuine emotional expression, which boosts self-awareness, resilience, and decision-making skills. It also enhances your ability to form stronger, more authentic connections with others. The vulnerability you practice in therapy becomes a valuable tool that extends into your relationships, career, and personal life.
Whether you cry often or hardly at all, your emotional journey in therapy is entirely your own. Trust the process, give yourself grace, and view each emotional moment as a meaningful step toward a more fulfilling and authentic life.
FAQs
How can I emotionally prepare for therapy and handle feelings like crying during sessions?
Feeling emotional during therapy, including shedding a few tears, is completely normal – and often an essential step in the healing process. Start by accepting that being vulnerable is part of what makes therapy effective. It’s okay to feel exposed; in fact, that openness can lead to meaningful breakthroughs.
Before your session, take some time to reflect on your thoughts and emotions. Writing in a journal can be a great way to organize your feelings and pinpoint the topics you want to explore. It’s like giving yourself a head start on the conversation.
You can also try self-care techniques to help you stay grounded. Practices like deep breathing, mindfulness, or grounding exercises can make it easier to navigate tough emotions during your session. And remember, your therapist is there to support you every step of the way. If you find yourself crying, don’t hold back – it’s often a sign that you’re working through something important and taking steps toward personal growth.
What can I do if I have trouble expressing emotions, like crying, during therapy?
It’s completely normal to struggle with crying or expressing emotions during therapy. If this resonates with you, there are plenty of other ways to work through your feelings. For instance, journaling can help you sort through your thoughts and gain clarity about how you’re feeling. It’s a simple yet effective way to put your emotions into words.
Creative activities like painting, writing, or playing music can also offer a safe and non-verbal outlet for emotional expression. These forms of creativity allow you to process emotions in a way that feels natural and personal to you.
Mindfulness practices, such as deep breathing or meditation, can be another helpful approach. These techniques encourage you to slow down and connect with your emotions in a calm and focused manner.
It’s important to remember that expressing emotions doesn’t look the same for everyone. Therapy is your space to explore feelings at a pace that feels right for you. Whether you cry, talk, or simply take time to reflect, your therapist is there to support you every step of the way.
How can I feel more comfortable sharing my emotions with my therapist?
It’s completely natural to feel a bit uneasy about sharing your emotions in therapy. If this resonates with you, consider starting the conversation by letting your therapist know. Something as simple as saying, "I find it hard to share my feelings," can help them understand your perspective and approach the situation with care.
If putting your emotions into words feels tricky, try using straightforward "I feel…" statements to express yourself more clearly. Another helpful tip is to spend some time journaling or reflecting on your emotions before your session. This can give you a clearer sense of what you’d like to address. Keep in mind, your therapist’s goal is to provide a safe and nonjudgmental environment. It’s okay to voice your concerns – they’re there to support you and guide you through those emotional moments with patience and understanding.