When Small Things Feel Big — You’re Not Overreacting

The comment from your coworker wasn’t meant to hurt. The dishes left in the sink aren’t a crisis. The text that went unanswered isn’t a rejection. But something in you responds as if these small things are much bigger threats. Your heart races. Your thoughts spiral. Your emotions feel suddenly overwhelming. And then comes the voice in your head: “Why am I overreacting like this? What’s wrong with me?”

At Televero Health, we hear this concern from many people. They come to us confused about why minor disappointments, small criticisms, or everyday stresses trigger such intense emotional responses. They worry they’re “too sensitive” or “can’t handle normal life.” They wonder if they’ll ever have appropriate reactions to the small stuff.

If you’ve felt this way, there’s something important you should know: your reactions aren’t random or broken. They make perfect sense when you understand what’s really happening.

It’s Not About the Trigger—It’s About What It Activates

When a seemingly small event causes a big reaction, it’s rarely about the event itself. Instead, the current situation has activated something deeper:

Old emotional wounds. Current experiences that echo past hurts, even in subtle ways, can reactivate old pain. A minor criticism now might tap into memories of harsh judgment in your past. A small rejection might connect to significant abandonment you once experienced.

Unprocessed emotions. Feelings we haven’t fully processed don’t just disappear. They wait below the surface, and when a current situation resembles the original trigger, those stored emotions join forces with your present reaction.

Core beliefs about yourself. We all develop beliefs about ourselves and how the world works. When a current event seems to confirm a negative belief (“I’m not good enough,” “People always leave,” “I can’t trust anyone”), the reaction isn’t just to the event but to the belief it appears to validate.

Physiological stress. When your nervous system is already taxed by ongoing stress, illness, poor sleep, or other physical demands, your capacity to regulate emotional responses diminishes. The same comment that wouldn’t bother you when well-rested might feel devastating when you’re exhausted.

In essence, what looks like an overreaction is often an appropriate reaction to something much bigger than the current trigger—like an iceberg where only the tip is visible.

Your Brain’s Alarm System: Necessary But Sometimes Mistaken

Our brains have built-in alarm systems designed to protect us from threats. This system doesn’t distinguish well between physical dangers (like a bear attacking) and social or emotional threats (like potential rejection). It also works primarily through pattern recognition.

Here’s how this can lead to “overreactions”:

Pattern matching with past threats. Your brain constantly scans for patterns that resemble past dangers. When it finds a match—even if the current situation isn’t actually threatening—it can trigger the same defensive response.

Emotional flashbacks. Sometimes, a current situation can trigger an emotional flashback where you don’t just remember past difficult experiences—you briefly relive the emotions from that time, often without realizing what’s happening.

Protective responses that once made sense. Many reactions that seem disproportionate now were actually helpful responses to situations you faced in the past. Your brain learned these protective strategies and activates them automatically when it detects similar patterns.

At Televero Health, we help people understand that their “overreactions” often make perfect sense when viewed through the lens of their unique history and nervous system responses.

Signs You Might Be Experiencing This Pattern

How do you know if your big reactions to small things are connected to deeper issues? You might notice:

Specific triggers create disproportionate responses. Certain situations consistently trigger intense reactions while others don’t, even if they’re objectively similar.

The intensity feels beyond your control. Despite knowing your reaction seems out of proportion, you struggle to moderate your emotional response in the moment.

Physical symptoms accompany emotional reactions. Your body responds with symptoms like racing heart, tight chest, stomach distress, or sudden fatigue.

Your reaction doesn’t match your conscious thoughts. Logically, you know the situation isn’t a big deal, but emotionally, it feels very significant.

You find yourself thinking in absolutes. Thoughts like “This always happens” or “I’ll never get this right” often signal that a current situation has tapped into a larger pattern.

After the reaction passes, you feel confused or embarrassed. Looking back, you might struggle to understand why you responded so strongly.

These experiences are common and don’t indicate weakness or instability. They simply suggest that your current reactions might be connected to deeper emotional material.

Breaking the Self-Criticism Cycle

When we have big reactions to small triggers, we often add an extra layer of suffering through self-criticism:

“Why can’t I handle this like everyone else?”

“I’m too sensitive and dramatic.”

“I should be over this by now.”

“What’s wrong with me?”

This self-criticism not only feels terrible but actually amplifies the original distress. It creates a secondary emotional reaction (shame, frustration with yourself) on top of the primary emotional response, making the whole experience more overwhelming.

Breaking this cycle begins with replacing judgment with curiosity. Instead of criticizing yourself for your reaction, you might wonder:

“What might this reaction be telling me?”

“Has something like this affected me before?”

“What might my system be trying to protect me from?”

“What do I need right now to feel safer or more regulated?”

This shift from judgment to curiosity opens the door to understanding and healing rather than shame and self-criticism.

Understanding Your Personal Triggers

One helpful way to work with “overreactions” is to identify your specific triggers and the themes they might connect to. Common categories include:

Rejection sensitivity: Strong reactions to hints of rejection, exclusion, or being overlooked

Criticism triggers: Intense responses to feedback, corrections, or perceived judgment

Control concerns: Heightened distress when things feel unpredictable or outside your control

Abandonment sensitivity: Strong reactions to people being unavailable, late, or inconsistent

Boundary violations: Intense responses when you feel your space, time, or autonomy aren’t respected

Performance pressure: Disproportionate distress about making mistakes or not meeting expectations

Most people have particular sensitivity in one or two of these areas rather than across all categories. Identifying your specific triggers can help you understand the themes that might need attention in your emotional healing work.

Building a Healthier Response Pattern

While it’s not possible to completely prevent intense emotional responses, you can develop strategies that help you navigate them more effectively:

Recognize the early warning signs. Each person has unique physical or emotional cues that signal an intense reaction is beginning. Learning to recognize yours early gives you more options for responding.

Create space before responding. When possible, give yourself a brief pause before reacting to a triggering situation. Even a few deep breaths or a moment of reflection can help engage your rational brain alongside your emotional response.

Name what’s happening. Simply acknowledging to yourself, “I’m having a big reaction to this” can create helpful distance between you and the intensity of your emotions.

Ground yourself in the present. When old wounds get activated, we partly time-travel to the past. Gently remind yourself of where you are now, what resources you have, and how your current situation differs from past experiences.

Extend compassion to yourself. Treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend having a difficult emotional response. Self-compassion reduces shame and helps your nervous system regulate.

With practice, these approaches can help you respond to triggers with more choice and less automatic reactivity.

When to Seek Support

While everyone experiences disproportionate reactions sometimes, consider professional support if:

Your reactions significantly impact your relationships, work, or quality of life

You find yourself avoiding important situations to prevent triggering reactions

The intensity of your responses causes you significant distress

Self-help strategies haven’t reduced the pattern

You suspect your reactions connect to past trauma or adverse experiences

Therapy provides a safe space to explore the origins of intense emotional responses and develop personalized strategies for healing. At Televero Health, we use approaches that address both the cognitive understanding of reaction patterns and the bodily experiences that often drive them.

Remember, having big reactions to small triggers doesn’t mean you’re broken or overreacting for no reason. It means there’s something deeper that needs your attention and care. With understanding and the right support, you can develop a new relationship with these reactions—one that honors their protective intent while creating more choice in how you respond.

Ready to understand and transform your emotional responses? Begin therapy with Televero Health today.