How to Tell If You’re Avoiding Therapy—Or Just Not Ready Yet

You think about it sometimes. Maybe you’ve even looked up therapists in your area. But somehow, you never quite take that next step. Is that a problem? Or is it just not the right time?

At Televero Health, we talk with many people who find themselves in this in-between space—wondering about therapy, but not moving forward with it. We’ve learned there’s an important distinction between avoidance and genuine unreadiness.

Understanding where you fall can help you make the right decision for your wellbeing, whether that means pushing through hesitation or honoring the need to wait.

Signs You Might Be Avoiding Therapy

Avoidance happens when part of you knows you could benefit from therapy, but fear or discomfort keeps you from taking action. Here are some indicators that avoidance might be at play:

You’ve been thinking about therapy for months or even years, but always find reasons not to start.

You recognize patterns in your life that aren’t serving you, but you keep hoping they’ll change on their own despite evidence to the contrary.

When you imagine starting therapy, you feel a mix of both anxiety and relief—suggesting part of you really wants to go.

You find yourself engaging in distraction behaviors when your struggles feel most present (excessive work, scrolling, substance use, etc.).

You’ve had positive experiences with therapy in the past, but still hesitate to return even when facing similar challenges.

You notice yourself using perfectionism to delay—waiting for the “perfect” therapist, the perfect time in your schedule, or when you feel “totally ready.”

You’ve gotten as far as contacting therapists but never follow through with scheduling.

Avoidance isn’t a character flaw. It’s a natural human response to things that feel uncomfortable or threatening. But when avoidance keeps us from growth or relief, it’s worth examining.

Signs You Might Truly Not Be Ready Yet

Not being ready for therapy is different from avoidance. It’s about recognizing that right now, other factors make therapy less likely to be beneficial. Here are signs you might genuinely need to wait:

You’re in the middle of an immediate crisis that requires stabilization first (like securing housing, managing a medical emergency, or ensuring basic safety).

You currently lack the practical resources needed for therapy to be sustainable (such as reliable transportation, childcare during sessions, or the minimum time required).

You’ve recently had a negative therapy experience and haven’t yet processed that experience or clarified what you’d need to be different.

You’re in a temporary period of extreme stress where adding another commitment would feel overwhelming rather than helpful.

You’ve explored options and truly haven’t found a therapist who seems like a good fit for your specific needs or values.

You’re currently receiving active support through other means that feel sufficient (like a support group, religious counseling, or a structured self-help program).

The key difference is that genuine unreadiness is usually specific and temporary, while avoidance tends to be general and ongoing.

The Cost of Perpetual “Almost Ready”

There’s an important truth we’ve observed over years of working with people: those who stay in the “considering therapy” phase for extended periods often end up paying a higher price than they realize.

While you’re waiting to feel completely ready (which, honestly, few people ever do), the challenges that prompted you to consider therapy in the first place are still affecting your life:

Relationship patterns continue to create disconnection

Anxiety continues to limit your choices

Unprocessed grief continues to color your experience

Unhelpful coping mechanisms continue to strengthen

We often see people finally start therapy and say, “I wish I had done this years ago.” They recognize how much unnecessary suffering they experienced while waiting to feel ready.

That’s not meant to pressure you, but rather to offer a compassionate reality check about the cost of indefinite waiting.

Moving Forward When You’re Unsure

If you recognize signs of avoidance in your hesitation, here are some gentle ways to move forward:

Reframe the first session: Think of it as an information-gathering meeting, not a lifetime commitment. You’re just exploring whether this particular therapist and approach feel right for you.

Name your fears: Sometimes explicitly identifying what you’re afraid might happen in therapy helps it feel less overwhelming.

Start with a consultation call: Many therapists offer brief free phone consultations where you can ask questions before committing to a session.

Try a single session: Give yourself permission to try just one session with no obligation to continue.

Bring your hesitation with you: Let your therapist know about your reservations. They can help address your concerns and adjust their approach.

If you identify with the “truly not ready” signs, honor that awareness. Instead of abandoning the idea of therapy entirely, consider:

Setting a specific timeframe to revisit the question (put it on your calendar)

Identifying what would need to change for therapy to become feasible

Exploring whether teletherapy might address some of your practical barriers

Looking into alternative support options that better fit your current circumstances

Remember, there’s no single “right way” to approach mental health support. What matters is making choices that genuinely serve your wellbeing, whether that means pushing through avoidance or respecting legitimate needs to wait.

Whether you’re ready to start or just exploring options, we’re here to meet you where you are.