Exploring Your Personal Values and Beliefs in Counseling
What truly matters to you, deep down? When you are at your best, what principles are guiding your life? What do you want to stand for? The answers to these questions point to your personal values. Your values are your heart’s compass; they are the chosen life directions that can provide you with a sense of meaning, purpose, and guidance. However, in the hustle and bustle of daily life, it’s easy to lose touch with them.
At Televero Health, we believe that a crucial part of therapy is helping you to reconnect with your own core values. This is a central component of a type of therapy called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). When you are clear on what truly matters to you, you have a powerful anchor that can help you to navigate life’s challenges and to make choices that lead to a more vital and fulfilling life.
Values vs. Goals
It’s important to understand the difference between values and goals. Goals are specific outcomes you want to achieve. They are things you can check off a list. “Get a promotion,” “run a marathon,” or “buy a house” are all goals. Values, on the other hand, are not destinations; they are directions. They are ongoing qualities of action that you can never “complete.”
For example, “being a loving partner” is a value. It’s a way you want to show up in your relationship every day. A goal related to that value might be, “Plan a date night for this Friday.” You can achieve the goal, but you can always continue to live out the value of being loving. A life guided by values is a continuous journey, not a race to a finish line.
Why Do Values Matter for Mental Health?
Living a life that is aligned with your values is strongly associated with greater psychological well-being. When your actions are in harmony with what you care about most, you experience a sense of purpose and authenticity.
Conversely, a lot of psychological pain comes from living a life that is out of sync with your values. You might be working at a high-paying job that you hate because you value financial security, but your deeper value is creativity. This disconnect between your actions and your values can lead to feelings of emptiness, depression, and anxiety. You are walking in a direction that your compass is telling you is wrong.
In therapy, clarifying your values can provide a powerful source of motivation for change. When the hard work of therapy—like facing your fears or changing old habits—is in the service of a deeply held value, it feels much more meaningful and worthwhile.
How to Explore Your Values
You don’t have to have your values perfectly figured out. The process of exploring them is a journey of self-discovery. Your therapist can guide you through exercises to help you connect with what’s important to you. Here are a few questions you can ask yourself to get started:
- What kind of person do you want to be? What qualities do you want to embody in your relationships with your friends, your family, and yourself? (e.g., compassionate, honest, adventurous)
- What truly matters to you in the big picture? If you could look back on your life from your 80th birthday, what would you want to have stood for?
- Think about a time you felt truly alive and fulfilled. What were you doing? What values were you honoring in that moment?
It can be helpful to look at a list of common values (you can find many online) and to circle the ones that resonate most deeply with you. Some common domains of values include:
- Relationships: (e.g., connection, intimacy, kindness)
- Work/Career: (e.g., achievement, contribution, creativity)
- Personal Growth: (e.g., learning, curiosity, authenticity)
- Community/Citizenship: (e.g., service, justice, environmentalism)
- Health/Well-being: (e.g., vitality, self-care, mindfulness)
Once you have identified a few of your core values, the next step is to ask yourself: “In what small way can I live out this value today?” If you value connection, maybe you can send a thoughtful text to a friend. If you value learning, maybe you can read a chapter of a book. These small, value-driven actions are the building blocks of a meaningful life. They are what allow you to stop just drifting and to start intentionally steering your ship in the direction of your own choosing.
Key Takeaways
- Your personal values are your chosen life directions; they act as a compass, providing a sense of meaning and purpose.
- Values are different from goals; they are ongoing qualities of action, not destinations you can achieve.
- Living in alignment with your values is crucial for your mental health, while a disconnect from them can cause distress.
- Therapy can help you to identify your core values and to start taking small, committed actions that bring your life into greater harmony with what truly matters to you.
Ready to take the first step? We can help. Get started with Televero Health today.