How Do I Know If My Therapist Is Right for Me?

You’ve taken the big step of starting therapy. You’ve had a session or two. But now you’re wondering: Is this the right therapist for me? Should I feel different already? How do I know if this is working?

At Televero Health, these questions come up often, especially for people new to therapy. Finding the right therapist can feel like dating – there’s an element of chemistry that’s hard to predict in advance. And like dating, it’s not always clear in the beginning whether you should keep investing in the relationship or look for a better match.

If you’re trying to figure out whether your therapist is right for you, you’re asking a smart question – because the relationship between you and your therapist is actually one of the strongest predictors of whether therapy will help.

Signs of a Good Therapeutic Fit

While everyone’s needs are different, these indicators often signal a good match between client and therapist:

You feel heard and understood (even if not perfectly or completely)

This doesn’t mean your therapist gets everything right or always says exactly what you need to hear. But you should generally feel that they’re making a genuine effort to understand your experience and perspective.

You feel safe enough to be honest (even if it’s sometimes uncomfortable)

Good therapy often involves talking about difficult things, so some discomfort is normal. But you should feel a basic sense of safety and trust with your therapist that allows you to gradually open up.

The therapist’s style works for you

Some therapists are more directive, others more reflective. Some use humor, others are more serious. Some focus on practical solutions, others on deeper understanding. None of these approaches is inherently better than others, but one might be a better fit for your preferences and needs.

You sense the therapist’s genuine care and investment

Your therapist should seem genuinely interested in you and invested in your wellbeing. This doesn’t mean they share much about their own life or become your friend, but you should feel their authentic presence and attention.

You can voice concerns or disagreements

A good therapist creates space for you to express when something doesn’t feel right or helpful. They respond to feedback without defensiveness and adjust their approach when needed.

You leave sessions with something to take with you

This might be a new insight, a question to consider, a practice to try, or simply a feeling of being understood. While not every session will be profound, over time you should feel you’re gaining something valuable.

Red Flags That Suggest It’s Not a Good Fit

Just as important as signs of a good match are indicators that your therapist might not be right for you:

You consistently feel judged or misunderstood

While occasional misunderstandings are normal, persistently feeling that your therapist doesn’t “get” you or disapproves of you is a legitimate concern.

The therapist talks too much about themselves

Some appropriate self-disclosure can be helpful, but the focus should remain firmly on you and your needs, not the therapist’s experiences or problems.

You feel pressured to accept certain interpretations or approaches

A good therapist offers perspectives and suggestions without insisting you see things their way. They respect your autonomy and right to disagree.

You leave sessions repeatedly feeling worse with no sense of purpose

While therapy sometimes stirs up difficult emotions, you shouldn’t consistently feel worse after sessions with no sense that it’s leading somewhere helpful.

The therapist regularly violates boundaries

This might include consistently starting late or ending early, answering calls during your session, forgetting important information you’ve shared, or making comments that feel inappropriate.

You find yourself hiding important information

If you’re consistently censoring yourself because you don’t trust your therapist’s response, it may indicate the relationship isn’t providing the safety you need.

Giving It Time vs. Knowing When to Switch

One of the trickiest aspects of evaluating fit is knowing how long to give it before deciding. Therapeutic relationships, like any relationships, take time to develop. Many people don’t feel an immediate connection in the first session or two.

At Televero Health, we often suggest giving it 3-4 sessions before making a final decision, unless there are clear red flags right away. This gives you enough time to move past initial awkwardness and get a better sense of how the therapist works.

That said, trust your gut. If something feels significantly off, or if after several sessions you still don’t feel a developing sense of trust and understanding, it’s completely appropriate to consider trying someone else.

How to Handle a Switch

If you decide your current therapist isn’t the right match, remember:

It’s not a failure on anyone’s part. Fit is about compatibility, not quality.

You don’t need an elaborate explanation. Simply saying “I’ve decided to try working with someone else” is enough.

Good therapists understand that fit matters and won’t take it personally.

Your needs and comfort are valid priorities in making this decision.

At Televero Health, we see finding the right therapeutic match as an important part of the process, not a problem. We want you to work with someone who feels right for you, and we’re happy to help you find a better fit if your first match doesn’t click.

Remember, therapy is for you. It’s a service you’re investing in, and you deserve a relationship that feels supportive, helpful, and aligned with your needs.

Looking for the right therapeutic match? Start here.