How Do I Know If My Therapist Is Right For Me?

You’ve taken the step of starting therapy. You’ve had a session or two. But now you’re wondering: Is this the right therapist for me? Should I feel different already? If I’m not immediately clicking with them, does that mean I should look elsewhere? Or am I expecting too much too soon? How do I know if this relationship is worth investing in?

At Televero Health, these questions come up frequently, especially for people new to therapy. Finding the right therapeutic fit can feel mysterious and uncertain. You want to give the relationship enough time to develop, but you also don’t want to waste time and resources on a connection that isn’t going to serve you well.

If you’re trying to evaluate whether your therapist is right for you, you’re asking a wise question – because the relationship between you and your therapist is one of the strongest predictors of whether therapy will ultimately help.

The Importance of Therapeutic Fit

Research consistently shows that the quality of the relationship between client and therapist – often called the “therapeutic alliance” – is one of the most significant factors in therapy outcomes, sometimes even more important than the specific therapeutic approach used.

This makes intuitive sense: therapy involves sharing vulnerable parts of yourself, exploring difficult emotions, and trying new ways of thinking and being. These processes happen more effectively in a relationship where you feel seen, understood, and supported.

What’s less obvious is what “good fit” actually means in practice. It’s not necessarily about:

Having a therapist who is just like you

Always feeling comfortable in sessions

Never experiencing any friction or challenge

Having an instant connection

At Televero Health, we find that effective therapeutic relationships have certain key qualities that develop over time, not necessarily in the first session or two.

Signs of a Good Therapeutic Fit

While every therapeutic relationship is unique, these indicators often signal a good match between client and therapist:

You feel fundamentally respected and heard

Even if you don’t always agree with your therapist or like everything they say, you sense that they value and respect you as a person.

You feel safe enough to be honest (even if it’s sometimes uncomfortable)

Good therapy often involves talking about difficult things, so some discomfort is normal. But you should feel a basic sense of safety and trust with your therapist that allows you to gradually open up.

Your therapist’s style works for you

Some therapists are more directive, others more reflective. Some use humor, others are more serious. None of these approaches is inherently better than others, but one might be a better fit for your preferences and needs.

You sense the therapist’s genuine care and investment

Your therapist should seem genuinely interested in you and invested in your wellbeing. This doesn’t mean they share much about their own life or become your friend, but you should feel their authentic presence and attention.

You can voice concerns or disagreements

A good therapist creates space for you to express when something doesn’t feel right or helpful. They respond to feedback without defensiveness and adjust their approach when needed.

You leave sessions with something to take with you

This might be a new insight, a question to consider, a practice to try, or simply a feeling of being understood. While not every session will be profound, over time you should feel you’re gaining something valuable.

Red Flags That Suggest It’s Not a Good Fit

Just as important as signs of a good match are indicators that your therapist might not be right for you:

You consistently feel judged or misunderstood

While occasional misunderstandings are normal, persistently feeling that your therapist doesn’t “get” you or disapproves of you is a legitimate concern.

The therapist talks too much about themselves

Some appropriate self-disclosure can be helpful, but the focus should remain firmly on you and your needs, not the therapist’s experiences or problems.

You feel pressured to accept certain interpretations or approaches

A good therapist offers perspectives and suggestions without insisting you see things their way. They respect your autonomy and right to disagree.

You leave sessions repeatedly feeling worse with no sense of purpose

While therapy sometimes stirs up difficult emotions, you shouldn’t consistently feel worse after sessions with no sense that it’s leading somewhere helpful.

The therapist regularly violates boundaries

This might include consistently starting late or ending early, answering calls during your session, forgetting important information you’ve shared, or making comments that feel inappropriate.

You find yourself hiding important information

If you’re consistently censoring yourself because you don’t trust your therapist’s response, it may indicate the relationship isn’t providing the safety you need.

Giving It Time vs. Trusting Your Gut

One of the trickiest aspects of evaluating fit is knowing how long to give it before deciding. Therapeutic relationships, like any relationships, take time to develop. Many people don’t feel an immediate connection in the first session or two.

At Televero Health, we often suggest giving it 3-4 sessions before making a final decision, unless there are clear red flags right away. This gives you enough time to move past initial awkwardness and get a better sense of how the therapist works.

That said, trust your gut. If something feels significantly off, or if after several sessions you still don’t feel a developing sense of trust and understanding, it’s completely appropriate to consider trying someone else.

This isn’t about rejecting therapy itself, but about finding the right match for your specific needs and style. Different therapists have different strengths, approaches, and interpersonal styles. Not connecting with one therapist doesn’t mean therapy won’t work for you – it just means that particular match wasn’t the right one.

How to Handle a Switch

If you decide your current therapist isn’t the right match, remember:

It’s not a failure on anyone’s part

Fit is about compatibility, not quality. A therapist can be skilled and caring and still not be the right match for your specific needs.

You don’t need an elaborate explanation

It’s completely okay to simply say “I’ve decided to try working with someone else” without justifying your decision in detail.

Good therapists understand that fit matters

Ethical therapists recognize the importance of therapeutic fit and won’t take it personally if you decide to work with someone else.

You can ask for referrals

If there were specific aspects of the therapist’s approach that didn’t work for you, you can ask them to suggest colleagues who might be a better fit.

One mismatch doesn’t predict another

Just because one therapeutic relationship didn’t feel right doesn’t mean the next one won’t be effective.

At Televero Health, we see finding the right therapeutic match as an important part of the process, not a problem. We want you to work with someone who feels right for you, and we’re happy to help you find a better fit if your first match doesn’t click.

Remember, therapy is for you. You deserve a therapeutic relationship that feels supportive, helpful, and aligned with your needs. Taking the time to find the right match is an investment in your wellbeing, not an unnecessary complication.

Looking for the right therapeutic match? Start here.