How to Cope with Uncertainty
You’re waiting for medical test results. You’re in between jobs. You’re not sure where your relationship is headed. Life is filled with moments, and even long periods, of uncertainty. Our brains are wired to dislike uncertainty; we crave predictability and clear answers. When we don’t have them, it can be a major source of anxiety. We can get stuck in a loop of “what if” questions, trying to predict and control a future that is inherently unpredictable.
At Televero Health, we help our patients build their tolerance for uncertainty. It’s not about getting rid of the uncertainty itself—that’s impossible. It’s about learning to sit with the discomfort of not knowing, without letting it consume you. It is a core skill for building resilience in a constantly changing world.
Why Is Uncertainty So Uncomfortable?
Your brain’s primary job is to keep you safe. To do that, it is constantly trying to predict what will happen next based on past experiences. This is a helpful survival mechanism. When the future is uncertain, your brain’s predictive model has no data to work with. It can’t know what’s coming, so it defaults to a worst-case scenario. It flags the uncertainty as a potential threat, which activates your body’s “fight-or-flight” response. This is why uncertainty feels so much like anxiety.
The problem is that our attempts to get rid of the uncertainty often make the anxiety worse. You might find yourself:
- Endlessly seeking reassurance from others.
- Googling your symptoms for hours.
- Ruminating on every possible negative outcome.
These behaviors feel productive, but they are actually just feeding the anxiety machine. They are a form of struggle that keeps you stuck.
Skills for Tolerating Uncertainty
The way to cope with uncertainty is not to find the answer, but to get better at living with the question. This is a skill you can practice.
1. Acknowledge and Accept the Anxiety
The first step is to stop fighting with your own feelings. When you feel the anxiety of uncertainty, just acknowledge it. You can say to yourself, “This is a moment of uncertainty, and I am feeling anxious. That is a normal and understandable response.” By validating your own feeling, you take the secondary layer of judgment and struggle out of the equation.
2. Challenge Your Need for Certainty
Gently question the belief that you need to know what will happen. Is it really true that you can’t handle not knowing? Think about all the times in your life you have successfully navigated uncertainty. Remind yourself that you are more resilient than your anxiety gives you credit for.
3. Drop the Anchor of the Present Moment
Anxiety about uncertainty lives entirely in the future. The most powerful way to counteract it is to bring your attention back to the present moment. The present is the only thing that is certain. You can use your mindfulness skills for this.
- Use your senses. Practice the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique.
- Focus on your breath. Your breath is a reliable anchor to the here and now.
- Engage fully in a task. Whether it’s washing the dishes or writing an email, bring your full attention to the task at hand.
4. Focus on What You Can Control
As we’ve discussed, you cannot control the future outcome. But you can control your actions in this moment. Shift your focus from the uncertain outcome to your own, value-driven behavior. You can’t control whether you get the job, but you can control whether you prepare well for the interview. You can’t control your test results, but you can control how you take care of your body today. Focus your energy on your own wise and skillful action, and let the outcome be what it will be.
Learning to live with uncertainty is a profound spiritual and psychological practice. It is the art of learning to be comfortable with the beautiful, messy, and unpredictable nature of life itself. It is the path to finding a sense of peace that is not dependent on having all the answers.
Key Takeaways
- Our brains are wired to dislike uncertainty, which can be a major source of anxiety.
- Our attempts to eliminate uncertainty through worry or reassurance-seeking often make the anxiety worse.
- The key to coping is to build your tolerance for the discomfort of not knowing.
- You can practice this by accepting your anxious feelings, anchoring yourself in the present moment through mindfulness, and focusing on what you can control: your own actions.
Ready to take the first step? We can help. Get started with Televero Health today.