How to Create Psychological Safety in Your Life
Think about a time you were in a group—at work, in your family, or with friends—and you had an idea, but you were afraid to speak up. You were worried that people might think your idea was stupid or that you would be criticized or embarrassed. Now, think about a time you felt completely comfortable being yourself, a time you knew you could share a half-baked idea or admit a mistake without fear of being shamed. The difference between these two experiences is the presence of psychological safety.
At Televero Health, we believe that psychological safety is the foundation of all healthy relationships and a necessary ingredient for personal growth. It is the soil in which trust, vulnerability, and authenticity can flourish. Therapy is often the first place a person experiences this kind of safety, and from there, they can learn to cultivate it in all areas of their life.
What Is Psychological Safety?
Psychological safety is a shared belief held by members of a team (or a family, or a relationship) that the group is safe for interpersonal risk-taking. It is the belief that you will not be punished or humiliated for speaking up with ideas, questions, concerns, or mistakes. It is a climate of respected, trusted, and open communication.
In a psychologically safe environment, you feel free to be your authentic self. You can:
- Ask a “dumb” question.
- Admit you don’t know something.
- Share a different or unpopular opinion.
- Admit you made a mistake.
- Be vulnerable and share your feelings.
Psychological safety is not about being “nice” all the time or avoiding conflict. In fact, it is the very thing that makes healthy conflict and constructive disagreement possible, because you are not afraid that the relationship is at stake.
Why Is Psychological Safety So Important?
When psychological safety is low, we are in a state of self-protection. Our brain’s threat-detection system is on high alert. We are constantly scanning for social threats and managing our image to avoid looking bad. This uses up a huge amount of our mental and emotional energy, leaving fewer resources for creativity, learning, and connection.
When psychological safety is high, our threat system can relax. We can shift our energy from self-preservation to a mode of contribution and collaboration. This is why psychologically safe teams are more innovative, more engaged, and more effective. In our personal lives, psychological safety is the foundation of intimacy and trust. It is what allows us to truly connect with others.
How to Cultivate Psychological Safety in Your Relationships
You cannot force another person to be psychologically safe, but you can be the one who goes first. You can model the behaviors that create safety and, in doing so, invite others to do the same. This is a skill you can practice.
1. Lead with Curiosity, Not Judgment
Approach conversations with a genuine desire to understand, not to be right. Ask open-ended questions. When someone shares a different perspective, instead of immediately arguing, try saying, “Tell me more about that,” or “That’s an interesting way of looking at it. What leads you to that conclusion?”
2. Practice Humility and Admit Your Own Fallibility
One of the most powerful ways to create safety for others is to admit when you are wrong or when you don’t know something. Saying things like, “I made a mistake,” or “I’m not sure, I need your help with this,” signals to others that it is okay to be imperfect. It replaces a culture of blame with a culture of learning.
3. Frame Disagreements as a Shared Problem
When you have a conflict, frame it as “us vs. the problem,” not “me vs. you.” This shifts the dynamic from a battle to a collaboration. “We seem to have a different perspective on this. How can we work together to find a solution that works for both of us?”
4. Respond to Vulnerability with Empathy
When someone takes the risk of being vulnerable with you—by sharing a personal struggle or admitting a mistake—how you respond is critical. If you respond with judgment or criticism, you have just taught them that it is not safe to be vulnerable with you. If you respond with empathy and validation (“That sounds so hard,” “Thank you for trusting me with that”), you are actively building a foundation of psychological safety.
Creating psychological safety is an ongoing practice. It is the intentional work of building relationships where people feel seen, heard, and respected. It is about creating the kind of environment where everyone feels safe enough to bring their whole, authentic self to the table.
Key Takeaways
- Psychological safety is the belief that you can take interpersonal risks, like sharing an idea or admitting a mistake, without fear of being punished or humiliated.
- It is the foundation of trust, connection, and healthy conflict in all of our relationships, both personal and professional.
- When psychological safety is low, our brains are in a state of self-protection; when it is high, we can shift our energy to collaboration and growth.
- You can help to create psychological safety by leading with curiosity, admitting your own fallibility, and responding to others’ vulnerability with empathy.
Ready to take the first step? We can help. Get started with Televero Health today.