How to Talk Yourself Into Getting Help

The internal argument plays on repeat: “I should probably talk to someone about this… but it’s not that bad. Other people have it worse. I can handle it myself. It’ll probably pass. Therapy is expensive. I don’t have time. What if it doesn’t even help?” And so the weeks turn into months, or even years—thinking about getting help, but never quite taking that step.

At Televero Health, we recognize this inner dialogue. It’s one we hear described by many people who eventually do reach out. They tell us about the mental back-and-forth that kept them stuck—wanting support but talking themselves out of it again and again.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. The journey from considering therapy to actually beginning it often involves navigating a complex inner conversation. Today, we’re exploring how to shift that conversation in ways that honor your concerns while creating space for the support you might need.

Understanding Your Resistance

Before trying to talk yourself into therapy, it’s worth understanding what might be keeping you from taking that step. Common sources of resistance include:

Fear of what might emerge. Many people worry that opening up about difficulties will make painful feelings more intense or bring up issues they’re not ready to face.

Identity concerns. Seeking help might challenge how you see yourself or how you believe others see you, particularly if you value self-sufficiency or being “the strong one.”

Hopelessness about change. If you’ve struggled for a long time or tried other approaches without success, you might doubt whether therapy can really make a difference.

Practical concerns. Legitimate questions about cost, time commitment, insurance coverage, or finding the right therapist can create barriers to getting started.

Societal and cultural messages. Many people absorb explicit or implicit messages from family, culture, or community that discourage seeking emotional support or frame it as unnecessary or self-indulgent.

Uncertainty about the process. Not knowing what therapy actually entails or what would be expected of you can create anxiety that leads to avoidance.

At Televero Health, we see these concerns not as obstacles to overcome through force or dismissal, but as important aspects of your experience that deserve acknowledgment and thoughtful response.

Reframing Common Objections

When you find yourself talking yourself out of seeking help, try responding to common objections with these alternative perspectives:

When you think: “It’s not bad enough to need therapy.”
Consider: “I don’t need to reach a crisis point to benefit from support. Early intervention often prevents bigger problems and is typically more effective than waiting until things are severe.”

When you think: “I should be able to handle this myself.”
Consider: “Seeking support isn’t a sign of weakness but of self-awareness and wisdom. Even the most capable people benefit from objective perspective and specialized knowledge in certain areas.”

When you think: “Therapy probably won’t help anyway.”
Consider: “While no approach works for everyone, research consistently shows therapy helps many people with a wide variety of concerns. I don’t need certainty about the outcome to explore whether it might be helpful for me.”

When you think: “I don’t have time for this right now.”
Consider: “Investing time in addressing these challenges might actually create more time and energy in the long run by reducing how much these issues drain my resources.”

When you think: “I don’t want to dwell on problems or the past.”
Consider: “Effective therapy isn’t about dwelling but about processing in ways that create forward movement. Many approaches focus primarily on present challenges and future possibilities rather than extensive past exploration.”

When you think: “Therapy is too expensive.”
Consider: “There may be more affordable options than I realize, including sliding scale fees, insurance coverage, or time-limited approaches. The potential benefit might also justify reprioritizing some resources temporarily.”

These reframes don’t dismiss legitimate concerns but offer balanced perspectives that might help shift a stuck internal dialogue.

The Power of Pros and Cons

When complex decisions feel overwhelming, sometimes structured approaches can help clarify your thinking. A thoughtful pros and cons analysis of seeking help might include:

Potential benefits of seeking help:

• Relief from current symptoms or distress

• Professional perspective on concerns that feel confusing

• Learning new skills and strategies for managing challenges

• Preventing problems from becoming more serious or entrenched

• Addressing patterns that affect relationships or quality of life

• Support during difficult transitions or decisions

• Space to focus exclusively on your needs and wellbeing

Potential costs of seeking help:

• Financial investment for sessions

• Time commitment for appointments and potential homework

• Emotional energy required for engagement in the process

• Possible initial discomfort with vulnerability or change

• Logistical arrangements for appointments

Potential costs of NOT seeking help:

• Continuation or worsening of current difficulties

• Ongoing impact on relationships, work, or daily functioning

• Development of secondary problems from coping mechanisms

• Lost time spent struggling unnecessarily

• Missed opportunities for growth or understanding

This structured approach can help move beyond vague concerns to more specific consideration of what’s actually at stake in your decision.

Making It Manageable: Small Steps Approach

Sometimes resistance persists because we frame “getting help” as one big, intimidating step. Breaking the process into smaller, more manageable actions can create movement:

Step 1: Information gathering. Before committing to therapy, simply learn more about different approaches, what therapy typically involves, or how to find a therapist. This creates familiarity without requiring immediate action.

Step 2: Exploring specific options. Research therapists in your area, potential insurance coverage, or specific approaches that might address your concerns. This concrete information makes the possibility more real and addressable.

Step 3: Low-commitment initial contact. Send an email inquiry, complete an online form, or make a phone call to ask basic questions about services. This creates connection without immediately scheduling an appointment.

Step 4: Scheduling a consultation. Arrange an initial consultation explicitly framed as an opportunity to assess fit and potential benefit, not as a commitment to ongoing therapy.

Step 5: Attending one session. Commit only to a single session, after which you’ll decide whether continuing seems beneficial. This limits the perceived size of the commitment.

Step 6: Short-term trial. If the first session feels helpful, consider a short-term commitment (perhaps 4-6 sessions) with explicit understanding that you’ll reassess at the end of this period.

This gradual approach honors ambivalence while creating movement, allowing you to reconsider at each step rather than making one overwhelming commitment.

Borrowing Perspective: The Friend Test

Sometimes our perspective on our own needs becomes distorted by self-criticism, minimization, or excessive self-reliance. The “friend test” can offer valuable recalibration:

Imagine a friend or loved one experiencing exactly what you’re experiencing. They come to you describing the same struggles, feelings, patterns, or concerns that you’ve been having.

What would you say to them? Would you tell them they should handle it themselves? That it’s not serious enough for support? That they’re overreacting or being self-indulgent?

Or would you respond differently? Would you validate their experience? Encourage them to get support? Suggest that addressing these concerns matters?

What makes your own needs less deserving of care? If you’d encourage a friend to seek help for the same concerns you’re experiencing, what beliefs or messages make it harder to extend that same compassion to yourself?

This perspective shift often reveals double standards in how we evaluate our own needs versus others’, creating space for more balanced consideration of whether support might be beneficial.

Addressing Specific Concerns

Sometimes resistance centers on specific concerns about the therapy process. Addressing these directly can help reduce unnecessary barriers:

If you’re concerned about control of the process: Know that ethical therapy respects client autonomy. You maintain choice about what to discuss, the pace of work, and whether to continue. Therapy supports your agency rather than diminishing it.

If you’re worried about being judged: Professional therapists are trained to approach clients with unconditional positive regard and to understand behaviors and feelings in context rather than through moralistic judgment.

If you fear becoming dependent: Effective therapy aims to increase independence and self-efficacy, not create dependency. Many approaches explicitly focus on building skills and resources that reduce the need for ongoing support.

If you’re concerned about confidentiality: Therapy includes clear confidentiality protections, with limited exceptions that should be explicitly discussed at the beginning of the process. Your privacy is taken seriously.

If you’re worried about effectiveness: Research consistently demonstrates that therapy is effective for many concerns, with satisfaction rates typically exceeding 75%. While no approach works for everyone, the probability of benefit is substantial.

Addressing specific concerns with accurate information can help reduce unnecessary barriers while still honoring legitimate considerations in your decision.

Finding Your Motivational Focus

Different motivational frames resonate for different people. Consider which of these perspectives might feel most meaningful for you:

Relief focus: Emphasizing the potential reduction in current symptoms, distress, or struggle—the possibility of feeling better and suffering less than you do now.

Growth focus: Highlighting opportunities for personal development, greater self-understanding, and expanded capacity rather than just problem resolution.

Relationship focus: Considering how addressing personal challenges might positively impact important relationships, creating possibility for deeper connection or more satisfying interactions.

Future self focus: Imagining how your future self might benefit from the work you do now, and what that future self might wish you would choose in this moment.

Values focus: Reflecting on whether seeking help aligns with your core values around personal responsibility, growth, self-care, or living consciously and intentionally.

Practical focus: Considering concrete benefits like improved functioning, efficiency, decision-making clarity, or reduced energy drain from ongoing challenges.

Different approaches resonate for different people at different times. Finding the frame that feels most compelling for you can help strengthen motivation for taking that first step.

Creating Space for Both/And

Finally, remember that ambivalence about therapy is normal and doesn’t have to be fully resolved before beginning. Creating space for both sides of your experience often works better than trying to eliminate the hesitant part:

You can be both uncertain about therapy AND willing to explore it.

You can be both capable of handling many things independently AND benefit from support with specific challenges.

You can be both concerned about the process AND curious about its potential benefits.

You can be both aware that others struggle more AND deserving of support for your own challenges.

You can be both hesitant about vulnerability AND willing to take calculated risks for potential growth.

This “both/and” approach honors the complexity of your experience without requiring either side to disappear before you can move forward.

At Televero Health, we understand that the journey to beginning therapy often includes a complex inner dialogue with both encouraging and discouraging voices. We respect this normal ambivalence and create space for exploring therapy at a pace that honors your unique process of consideration and decision-making.

If you’ve been thinking about therapy without quite taking that step, know that the conversation doesn’t have to be perfectly resolved to begin. Sometimes the clearest answers come not from endless internal debate but from taking a small step and seeing what you discover.

Ready to take that step, even with some lingering questions? Reach out to Televero Health today.