What Happens If You Just Want to Sit in Silence? (Yes, That’s Allowed)

You’ve made it to the therapist’s office. You’re sitting in the chair. And then it hits you—you have absolutely nothing to say. Or maybe you do, but the words won’t come. Maybe you’re overwhelmed. Maybe you’re scared. Maybe you’re just… tired.

At Televero Health, we’ve sat with many clients in moments of silence. Some worry this means they’re “failing” at therapy or “wasting time.” They apologize for not knowing what to say or how to begin.

We’re here to tell you: silence in therapy isn’t a problem. Sometimes, it’s precisely what’s needed. And a good therapist knows how to work with silence just as effectively as with words.

The Many Voices of Silence

Silence isn’t empty. It speaks in many different ways, each carrying its own meaning:

There’s the silence of processing—when you’re taking in something significant that just emerged in the conversation.

There’s the silence of searching—when you’re looking for the right words to express something complex or difficult.

There’s the silence of emotion—when feelings are too intense to immediately verbalize.

There’s the silence of resistance—when part of you is protecting something vulnerable from exposure.

There’s the silence of rest—when you simply need a moment of quiet in a world that rarely provides it.

There’s the silence of connection—when words would only diminish the moment of understanding between you and your therapist.

At Televero Health, we recognize that each of these silences has value. None of them means therapy isn’t “working.” In fact, these moments of quiet often contain some of the most important work of therapy.

What Therapists Actually Think About Silence

Many people worry that their therapist will be annoyed, disappointed, or frustrated if they don’t fill every minute with talk. They imagine the therapist thinking, “Why won’t they say something? I can’t help if they don’t talk!”

The reality is quite different. Most therapists are comfortable with silence and see it as a natural, valuable part of the therapeutic process.

From a therapist’s perspective, silence often indicates that something important is happening internally for the client. Rather than feeling impatient, many therapists are curious about this internal process and respectful of the space it requires.

Therapists are trained to understand that therapy doesn’t always happen through words. Sometimes it happens in the spaces between words—in reflection, in feeling, in the simple experience of being present with another person in a moment of quiet.

A skilled therapist won’t rush to fill silence with questions or chatter. They’ll give the silence the space it needs, staying present and attentive without demanding words before you’re ready to offer them.

When Silence Is Actually Therapeutic

For some clients, silence isn’t just acceptable—it’s actively beneficial. This is particularly true for people who:

Rarely get moments of quiet reflection in their busy lives

Feel pressured to always have the right words or answers

Process information internally before they’re ready to verbalize

Have experienced environments where they weren’t allowed to set their own pace

Are working through experiences that are difficult to put into words

In these cases, the experience of sitting with someone who can tolerate silence—who doesn’t demand immediate verbalization—can be profoundly healing. It creates a rare space where you don’t have to perform or produce, where you can simply be.

At Televero Health, we’ve seen powerful shifts happen for clients who are given permission to be silent when they need to be. Sometimes, what they most need is the experience of another person staying present with them without requiring words.

Different Types of Therapy Handle Silence Differently

It’s worth noting that different therapeutic approaches have different relationships with silence:

Psychodynamic therapy often values silence as a space where unconscious material can emerge.

Person-centered approaches see silence as an opportunity for the client to connect with their authentic experience.

Cognitive-behavioral approaches might be more structured, but still make room for reflection and processing.

Mindfulness-based therapies actively incorporate silence as a way to develop present-moment awareness.

Somatic (body-focused) therapies use periods of silence to help clients connect with physical sensations and non-verbal awareness.

No matter the approach, ethical therapists respect the client’s need for silence rather than pushing for constant verbalization.

If you’re concerned about how silence will be handled in therapy, it’s completely appropriate to ask potential therapists how they work with quiet moments. Their response will tell you a lot about their approach and whether it might be a good fit for you.

Communicating About Silence

While silence itself can be valuable, it can sometimes help to communicate about what’s happening during those quiet moments. This doesn’t mean you need to break every silence, but sharing the general nature of your experience can help your therapist understand and respond appropriately.

Simple statements can be powerful:

“I need a moment to think about that.”

“I’m not sure how to put this into words yet.”

“I’m feeling a lot right now and need some quiet.”

“I don’t know what to say today.”

These kinds of statements help your therapist understand what’s happening for you without requiring you to produce content you’re not ready to share.

At Televero Health, we find that this simple communication about silence often deepens the therapeutic relationship. It builds trust when clients can be honest about their needs, including the need for quiet.

Finding Comfort in the Quiet

If you’re someone who finds silence uncomfortable—who feels anxious when conversation pauses or who rushes to fill every gap—therapy can actually help you develop a new relationship with quiet.

Many people have learned to fear silence because in their experience, silence has meant rejection, abandonment, or danger. Or they’ve been in environments where they were expected to always have something to say, to always be “on.”

Therapy offers a different experience of silence—one that’s supportive rather than threatening, spacious rather than empty. Over time, many clients discover that these moments of quiet become less anxiety-provoking and more nurturing.

Learning to be comfortable with silence isn’t just a skill for therapy. It’s a capacity that can enrich your relationship with yourself and with others in your life. It creates space for deeper connection, more authentic communication, and greater self-awareness.

So if you find yourself sitting in silence during a therapy session, know that it’s not only allowed—it might be exactly what you need in that moment. And a good therapist will honor that need without pushing you to speak before you’re ready.

Ready to experience therapy that respects your need for both words and silence? Connect with us today.