If your therapist doesn’t feel like the right match, you’re not stuck. Therapy works best when there’s trust, understanding, and progress toward your goals. Here’s what you need to know:
- Key Signs It’s Time to Switch: Feeling judged or misunderstood, lack of progress, or difficulty building trust.
- Steps to Take: Start by discussing your concerns with your therapist. If things don’t improve, it’s okay to move on.
- Finding a New Therapist: Look for someone who aligns with your goals, therapy style, and practical needs like scheduling or insurance.
- Avoid Gaps in Care: Arrange for your records to be transferred and consider online therapy platforms for quicker access.
Your mental health is important, and switching therapists is a step toward finding the support you deserve. Trust your instincts and prioritize your well-being.
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Warning Signs Your Therapist Isn’t Working Out
Finding the right therapist can be a journey, and sometimes, the match just isn’t right. Recognizing the signs early can save you time and help you move toward the support you truly need. Here are some key indicators that your current therapist might not be the best fit.
You Feel Misunderstood or Judged
If you often leave therapy sessions feeling misunderstood, judged, or dismissed, it’s a strong signal that something is off. Therapy should feel like a safe space where you can express yourself openly without fear of criticism or invalidation.
"If you feel like your therapist doesn’t understand you, judges you, or doesn’t hold enough space for your thoughts and emotions, you might not have found the right person for you." – Karina Chow
Ask yourself: Are you holding back important thoughts because you’re worried about how your therapist might react? Do you feel worse after sessions instead of lighter or more understood? A therapist who truly listens will ask thoughtful questions, show empathy, and ensure you feel heard. If that’s lacking, it may be time to reconsider the fit.
You’re Not Making Progress on Your Goals
Therapy doesn’t always follow a straight path, but if months go by without any noticeable progress, it’s worth reflecting on why. Stagnation doesn’t always mean your therapist is to blame, but it’s something to examine closely.
"Not making progress in therapy can be due to: fear or denial, the wrong ‘fit’ of a therapist, unrealistic expectations, lack of commitment and many other factors."
Have you and your therapist set clear goals? Are they explaining their methods and how they relate to your situation? Sometimes, a mismatch in therapeutic style or failure to address specific needs – like trauma – can hold you back, even if both parties are trying.
Of course, external factors like personal stress or your own readiness to change can also play a role. A skilled therapist will help you identify these barriers and work through them. If this isn’t happening, it might be time to explore other options.
You Can’t Build Trust or Connect
Trust is the foundation of any successful therapeutic relationship. Without it, even the best techniques won’t work. If you still feel disconnected or uneasy after several sessions, this could be a major red flag.
Lack of trust might show up in subtle ways, like feeling your therapist doesn’t “get” you or misinterprets your emotions. Sessions that leave you emotionally drained or filled with generic responses can also point to a lack of genuine connection.
"Remember, therapy is a collaboration – you don’t need to figure this out alone!" – Sam Dylan Finch
Therapists should be invested in your growth and well-being. If the relationship feels forced or one-sided even after giving it time, it may not be the right fit. While trust can take a little while to build – especially if you’ve had negative experiences in the past – it should start to feel natural within the first few sessions. If, after months, you’re still guarded or uncomfortable, it’s worth considering a change.
What to Do When Your Therapist Isn’t Right for You
Realizing that your therapist might not be the best fit for you can feel daunting, but it’s actually an important step in advocating for your mental health. If you’ve noticed signs that the relationship isn’t working, there are actionable steps you can take to address the situation and find the care you deserve.
Talk to Your Current Therapist About Your Concerns
Before making any big decisions, try having an open and honest discussion with your therapist. Yes, it might feel awkward, but sometimes a candid conversation can improve the dynamic or clarify misunderstandings.
Start by preparing ahead of time. Write down specific concerns you have – whether it’s feeling unheard, needing a different approach, or not seeing progress. For example, are you looking for more structured strategies to tackle anxiety or depression? Being clear about what’s not working can help guide the conversation.
"Therapy sessions can surely pose challenges, particularly for clients who may find themselves frozen and unable to articulate their reasons for seeking therapy once they’re in the therapist’s office. To facilitate the discovery of therapeutic goals and foster a trusting relationship between client and therapist, it’s essential to employ open-ended questions that encourage exploration and understanding of the challenges the client may be facing. Building this deeper connection allows clients to feel more comfortable and supported, ultimately enhancing the therapeutic process and promoting positive outcomes." – Talkspace therapist Famous Erwin, LMHC, LPC
During your session, be direct about your expectations. Share what you hope to focus on and what you want from the therapy process. If progress feels stagnant, ask your therapist about their methods and timeline for achieving results.
As Robert Taibbi L.C.S.W. puts it, "Speak up. You’re the customer, don’t settle." Your mental health is the priority here, so don’t hesitate to express your needs.
"One thing I like about therapy is it gives us the chance to get meta. In other words, you can actually express your discomfort, question the approach, and share your feelings, and be super transparent about what’s going on for you." – Dawn Friedman, a licensed clinical counselor
If this conversation doesn’t lead to meaningful changes, it might be time to consider switching therapists.
Make the Decision to Switch Therapists
Sometimes, even after addressing your concerns, the connection with your therapist just isn’t there. If you still feel uncomfortable or disconnected, it’s okay to move on. You don’t need anyone’s approval to make this decision – your feelings are valid.
When looking for a new therapist, think about what you need. Are you seeking someone who specializes in trauma, anxiety, or relationships? Do you prefer a specific therapy style like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) or dialectical behavior therapy (DBT)? Writing down your priorities can help you choose a therapist who aligns with your goals.
Timing is also key. If you’re in crisis or facing urgent mental health issues, try to line up a new therapist before ending your current relationship. This ensures you won’t experience any gaps in care that could impact your wellbeing.
Once you’ve made the decision, the next step is to ensure a seamless transition by transferring your records.
Get Your Records Transferred for Smooth Care
To maintain continuity of care, arrange for your therapy records to be transferred to your new provider. Under HIPAA regulations, you have the right to access and transfer your medical records.
Start this process as soon as possible. Providers are required to respond to record requests within 30 days, though they may request an extension if necessary. Don’t wait until your first appointment with a new therapist to begin this step.
When requesting your records, be clear about where they should be sent. Include the name, address, and contact information of your new therapist. Requests can typically be made in writing or electronically, but your current provider will need to verify your identity, so have your ID ready.
Be aware that there may be a small fee for copying and mailing, but it should be reasonable and not a barrier to accessing your records. If you’re concerned about privacy, ask about encrypted email or secure file transfer options. While providers can send records via standard email or flash drives, they should inform you of any privacy risks and may require you to acknowledge these risks in writing.
Having your complete therapy history available helps your new therapist understand your background and previous treatments, which can make it easier to build trust and develop an effective plan moving forward.
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How to Find a Therapist Who Fits Your Needs
Once you’ve decided to make a change, the next step is finding a therapist who aligns with your needs. This can feel overwhelming, especially after a less-than-ideal experience. To make the process smoother, focus on the factors that matter most to you, such as therapy methods, scheduling, and financial considerations.
Theresa Nguyen, chief research officer at Mental Health America, offers this perspective: "It’s such an intimate experience. It’s unlike finding any other doctor." This underscores the importance of not just checking credentials but also ensuring the therapist’s approach feels right for your personality and goals.
Look at Treatment Methods and Areas of Focus
Therapists use various approaches, and what works for one person may not work for another. This is why understanding their methods and specialties is so important. Start by researching treatments that address your specific needs.
For example, if you’re managing anxiety, look for therapists experienced in evidence-based approaches like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). When speaking with potential therapists, ask them to explain their therapeutic style and treatment plan. A good therapist should be able to describe your challenges in a way that resonates with you and outline a plan that feels clear and actionable.
The Layla Team suggests, "You can ask about their approach, session structure, and areas of focus during a consultation or early in the process. It’s also important to share what you need. Most therapists can adapt their style to some degree, but they can only do so if they know what’s working – or not."
Think about the kind of session structure that suits you best. Do you prefer a practical, directive approach with tools and homework? Or are you more drawn to open-ended discussions and deeper reflection? If you’re unsure, consider meeting with a few therapists to explore what feels right for you.
Think About Schedule and Location Needs
Practical matters like scheduling and location are crucial when choosing a therapist. Your perfect match won’t be much help if their availability doesn’t fit your life. Take into account your work hours, family responsibilities, and whether virtual sessions might be more convenient.
Do you need evening or weekend appointments? Would online therapy make it easier to stay consistent? Many people find virtual sessions especially helpful when starting with a new provider. If you’re in a crisis or need intensive treatment, look for a therapist who can offer multiple sessions per week.
For in-person therapy, location matters too. A long commute can quickly become an obstacle to attending regularly. As Theresa Nguyen points out, the connection with a therapist often comes down to subtle things: "It’s not sometimes their expertise, it’s the tone of their voice… It’s the passion you might hear, or how much they listen. You’re kind of getting your own sense of … do I feel like we could speak at ease, or am I going to be battling this person unconsciously?"
Verify Insurance Coverage and Payment Options
Financial factors play a big role in making therapy accessible and sustainable. Before committing to a therapist, confirm whether they accept your insurance and understand your out-of-pocket costs.
Contact your insurance provider to confirm details like copays, deductibles, and session limits. Some plans may also require pre-authorization or a referral from your primary care doctor.
If a therapist isn’t in your insurance network, ask about their self-pay rates and whether they offer sliding scale fees based on income. This can make therapy more affordable and ensure you can maintain consistency over time.
Using Online Therapy Platforms to Switch Therapists
Switching therapists can feel daunting, but online therapy platforms make the process far easier and more convenient. They help eliminate the delays and frustrations that often come with finding a new provider through traditional methods. Virtual therapy platforms reduce wait times, expand access to licensed professionals, and simplify scheduling. With telehealth services, you can seamlessly transition to a new therapist without interrupting your care. Plus, the flexibility of online therapy allows you to connect with providers who meet your specific needs, no matter where you are or what your schedule looks like.
How Televero Health Simplifies the Process
Televero Health is a licensed online behavioral health practice that takes a hands-on approach to patient care. Unlike apps or platforms that rely solely on algorithms to match you with a provider, Televero Health uses the MD CARE™ model. This means your care is overseen by a team that includes a licensed physician, ensuring a more personalized and comprehensive approach to your mental health needs.
The platform matches you with a provider from its dedicated team based on your specific requirements – not just a computer-generated suggestion. Televero Health accepts insurance and Medicaid and offers appointments seven days a week. They also assist in verifying your coverage and scheduling sessions. With your permission, they’ll even coordinate with your previous therapist to ensure your new provider has all the necessary background information. Starting is simple: complete the Start My Care form and connect through secure video sessions. This straightforward process minimizes disruptions and ensures you can continue your care without unnecessary delays.
Avoiding Gaps in Treatment with Same-Week Appointments
One of the biggest challenges when switching therapists is the risk of gaps in care. Traditional therapy often means waiting weeks – or even months – for an initial appointment, which can be especially difficult if your current therapist isn’t meeting your needs. Televero Health addresses this issue by offering same-day or next-day appointments. Instead of waiting months, you can schedule a session within days.
"By expanding our availability, we are removing barriers to care and ensuring more people can receive high-quality mental health support when they need it most", says Ray Wolf, CEO of Televero Health.
This quick access is essential if you’re dealing with urgent mental health concerns or feeling unsupported. And if your new provider doesn’t feel like the right fit, you can request a change. This flexibility ensures you can begin care quickly while still finding the therapist that’s best suited to your needs.
With its combination of speed, accessibility, and adaptability, Televero Health makes it easier to move forward in your mental health journey without unnecessary stress or delays.
Take Control of Your Mental Health Care
Recognizing when a therapist isn’t the right fit – and deciding to switch – is a powerful step. Taking charge of your mental health care means prioritizing your needs and ensuring that the therapeutic relationship supports your growth. After all, the connection between you and your therapist is the backbone of effective treatment. You deserve to work with someone who truly understands your goals and helps you achieve them.
Finding the right therapist, however, can take time. According to a 2022 Healthline survey, 48% of people met with more than one therapist before finding the right match. Nearly half of therapy seekers switch providers, and that’s completely normal. Research shows that when you and your therapist are aligned on your goals, the chances of positive outcomes improve significantly.
Trust your instincts. If you don’t feel comfortable or understood, it’s okay to make a change. Theresa Nguyen captures this sentiment perfectly:
"It’s such an intimate experience. It’s unlike finding any other doctor."
Dr. Matthew Boland, a licensed clinical psychologist, adds:
"If your current therapist seems unable to modify their approach to help you feel heard, it could be a helpful time to switch."
Before starting with a new therapist, take the time to define your goals. Be clear about what you’re looking for, and don’t hesitate to ask prospective providers about their experience, specialties, and treatment methods. Your mental health is worth the effort it takes to find the right support.
Switching therapists has become easier than ever. Whether you prefer traditional in-person sessions or online platforms, focus on finding someone who makes you feel safe, understood, and genuinely supported. With the right tools and determination, you can ensure your care remains consistent and effective as you continue your healing journey.
FAQs
What should I do if I feel my therapist isn’t the right fit?
If you think your therapist might not be the right match for you, it’s important to approach the situation with honesty and respect. Bring up your concerns during a session – explain what feels off or isn’t working for you. This gives both you and your therapist a chance to explore possible adjustments that might better suit your needs. Therapists are trained to navigate these conversations and will value your openness.
However, if things still don’t feel right after addressing your concerns, it’s completely okay to look for a new therapist. A strong sense of trust and comfort is key to making therapy effective, so finding someone who aligns with your goals is crucial. Many telehealth platforms make it easier to explore other therapists and guide you through the transition process. At the end of the day, taking care of your mental health is what truly matters.
What should I look for in a new therapist to make sure they’re the right fit for me?
When searching for a new therapist, the first step is to verify their credentials and licensing. Make sure they meet your state’s requirements, such as holding a license in psychology, counseling, or social work. This ensures they’ve undergone the necessary training to provide professional support.
Next, think about their specialties and therapeutic approach. Choose someone who has experience with the specific challenges you’re facing, whether that’s managing anxiety, navigating relationship issues, or something else. Just as important is the connection and comfort you feel with them – building a solid rapport is crucial for meaningful progress in therapy.
Lastly, don’t be afraid to ask questions during an initial consultation. Talk about their experience, the methods they use, and how they would adapt their approach to suit your needs. These steps can guide you toward finding a therapist who aligns with your goals and supports your personal growth.
What should I do if I need to transfer my therapy records to a new provider?
To move your therapy records to a new provider in the U.S., you’ll need to complete a release of information form. This form allows your current therapist or provider to share your records with the new therapist or practice. These records might include important details like your medical history and therapy notes.
It’s essential to ensure the transfer process follows HIPAA regulations, which are designed to protect your privacy and guarantee your rights to access and update your records. If you’re unsure about how to proceed, don’t hesitate to ask your current provider for help – they’re usually well-versed in the process and can assist in making the transition secure and straightforward.