When to Consider Couples or Family Counseling

You’re in individual therapy, and you’re making great progress. You’re learning about your patterns, you’re building new skills, and you’re starting to feel better. But you notice that the same old, painful dynamics keep playing out in your most important relationships. You and your partner are stuck in the same argument loop. You and your teenager are constantly at odds. It can feel like you are trying to change your steps in a dance, but everyone else is still doing the old moves.

At Televero Health, we know that our individual well-being is deeply intertwined with the health of our relationships. Sometimes, the most effective way to create lasting change is to bring the other people in your life into the therapy room with you. Understanding when to consider couples or family counseling can be a crucial step in healing not just yourself, but the entire relationship system.

The Shift in Focus: From “Me” to “We”

Individual therapy is focused on you. The client is the individual. In couples or family therapy, the focus shifts. The “client” is not any one person, but the relationship itself. The therapist’s job is not to take sides or to decide who is “right” and who is “wrong.” Their job is to be an objective, neutral facilitator who helps the members of the system to:

• Understand the dysfunctional patterns of communication and interaction that are keeping them stuck.
• Learn to communicate more effectively.
• Develop healthier ways of navigating conflict.
• Build a stronger, more secure emotional connection.

The therapist acts as a coach for the relationship, helping the team to learn to play better together.

When to Consider Couples Counseling

Couples counseling can be helpful at any stage of a relationship, not just when you are on the brink of a breakup. It can be a proactive way to build a strong foundation or a tool to navigate a specific challenge. You might consider couples counseling if:

• You are stuck in the same, recurring arguments with no resolution.
• There has been a breach of trust, such as an affair, that you are struggling to heal from.
• You are navigating a major life transition, like having a baby, a career change, or becoming empty nesters.
• You feel more like roommates than romantic partners, and you want to rekindle your emotional and physical intimacy.
• You are considering separating and want to do so in the most amicable and respectful way possible.

When to Consider Family Counseling

Family dynamics can be incredibly complex. Family therapy can be helpful whenever a problem is affecting the entire family system, or when the family is struggling to support one of its members who is going through a difficult time. You might consider family counseling if:

• There is frequent, high-intensity conflict between family members.
• A child or adolescent is struggling with behavioral or emotional problems, and it is impacting the whole family.
• The family is going through a major stressor, such as a divorce, a death, or a serious illness.
• There are issues with blended families that are causing friction.
• There is a breakdown in communication between parents and children.

How It Complements Individual Therapy

Couples or family therapy is not a replacement for your individual therapy; it is a powerful complement to it. In your individual work, you are learning about your own patterns and building your own skills. In the relational work, you get a real-time laboratory to practice those skills with the people who matter most to you. It can help your loved ones to better understand what you are going through and to learn how to be a more effective part of your support system.

If you feel that your relationship dynamics are a major source of your stress or a significant barrier to your individual progress, talk to your therapist about it. They can help you to explore whether couples or family counseling might be a helpful next step and can often provide a referral to a trusted colleague who specializes in this type of work.

Key Takeaways

• In couples or family counseling, the “client” is the relationship itself, and the therapist acts as a neutral facilitator to improve communication and resolve conflict.
• Consider couples counseling if you are stuck in recurring arguments, dealing with a breach of trust, or want to strengthen your connection.
• Consider family counseling when a problem is affecting the entire family system, such as a child’s behavioral issues or a major life stressor.
• Relational therapy is not a replacement for individual therapy but can be a powerful complement, providing a space to practice your new skills and heal the entire system.

Ready to take the first step? We can help. Get started with Televero Health today.