Will My Therapist Tell Me What’s Wrong With Me?

It’s a common worry: you sit down for your first therapy session, pour out your thoughts and feelings, and then wait anxiously for the verdict. The moment when your therapist looks up from their notepad and tells you exactly what’s wrong with you.

At Televero Health, we hear this concern regularly. People come to us wondering if therapy is going to be about having their flaws pointed out, their mistakes analyzed, or their personality dissected. They worry about being told they’re broken in ways they didn’t even realize.

If this fear has been holding you back from trying therapy, we have some reassuring news about what actually happens when you work with a good therapist.

Therapy Isn’t About Finding What’s “Wrong” With You

First and most importantly: good therapy isn’t about identifying what’s “wrong” with you as a person.

Effective therapists don’t see their role as judging, diagnosing flaws in your character, or telling you how you should be different. They don’t approach your struggles as evidence of personal defects that need fixing.

Instead, therapists are trained to help you understand your experiences, recognize patterns that might be causing difficulty, and develop more effective ways of coping with life’s challenges. They’re interested in how your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are working for you – not in labeling you as wrong or flawed.

At Televero Health, we see people as whole, complex individuals responding to their circumstances in ways that made sense at some point, even if those responses are now causing problems. We focus on understanding, not judging.

What Therapists Actually Look For

Rather than searching for what’s wrong with you, therapists tend to focus on:

Patterns that might be creating difficulties for you

These could be thought patterns (like always expecting the worst), behavioral patterns (like avoiding certain situations), or relationship patterns (like always putting others’ needs first).

The impacts of past and current experiences

How events in your life have shaped your beliefs about yourself, others, and the world – and how those beliefs might be influencing your present experiences.

Your strengths and resources

What’s working well in your life, what you’re good at, and what supports you already have that can be part of your healing process.

Disconnections between different parts of your experience

Like when your emotional reactions don’t match what you logically believe, or when you find yourself behaving in ways that don’t align with your values.

These explorations aren’t about finding fault with you as a person. They’re about understanding the complex system of thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and circumstances that contribute to your current experience – all with the goal of helping you feel better and live more fully.

The Collaborative Nature of Good Therapy

Another important thing to know: therapy at its best is collaborative, not prescriptive.

Rather than positioning the therapist as the expert who will diagnose what’s wrong with you and tell you how to fix it, good therapy involves working together to understand your experience and discover what helps. The therapist brings expertise in psychological processes and healing, but you bring expertise in your own life and what matters to you.

This means:

The therapist asks questions and offers reflections, but doesn’t claim to know you better than you know yourself.

Insights emerge through dialogue, not through the therapist’s pronouncements about your character or personality.

You have say in the direction therapy takes and what you focus on.

The therapeutic relationship itself becomes a space for exploration, not judgment.

At Televero Health, we believe in this collaborative approach. We see ourselves as companions on your journey, not authorities passing judgment on who you are.

When Therapists Do Offer Perspective

Of course, therapists do sometimes offer observations, reflections, and even gentle challenges. They might point out patterns you haven’t noticed or help you see connections between different aspects of your experience. This is part of how therapy helps.

But there’s an important difference between:

“I’ve noticed that when you talk about your relationships, you often mention feeling responsible for others’ happiness. I wonder how that impacts you.”

And:

“What’s wrong with you is that you’re codependent and that’s why your relationships don’t work.”

The first invites exploration and deeper understanding. The second passes judgment and puts you in a box. Good therapists strive for the former, not the latter.

When therapists do share their perspectives, it should feel like they’re offering something for you to consider, not pronouncing a verdict on your worth as a person.

Finding Healing, Not Fault

The ultimate goal of therapy isn’t to identify what’s wrong with you. It’s to help you find greater wellbeing, more satisfying relationships, and a richer, more meaningful life.

Sometimes that means recognizing patterns that aren’t serving you well. Sometimes it means healing from painful experiences. Sometimes it means developing new skills or perspectives. But always, it means approaching you with basic respect for your humanity and worth as a person.

If you’ve been worried about being told what’s wrong with you in therapy, consider the possibility that good therapy might actually help you see that there’s less “wrong” with you than you fear. Many people discover that what they interpreted as personal flaws are actually understandable adaptations to difficult circumstances – adaptations that served a purpose even if they’re no longer helpful.

You deserve support that helps you grow and heal, not judgment that makes you feel diminished. That’s the kind of support we strive to provide at Televero Health.

Ready to find support without judgment? Start here.