You Don’t Have to Know What to Say in Therapy

The blank page stares back at you. The cursor blinks, waiting. You want to reach out for therapy, but you’re stuck on the intake form question: “What brings you to therapy?” Your mind races or goes completely blank. “I don’t even know how to explain it. If I could articulate what’s wrong, maybe I wouldn’t need help in the first place.”

At Televero Health, we hear this all the time. People delay starting therapy because they don’t know exactly what to say. They worry they need to arrive with a clear problem statement, organized thoughts, and specific goals. They fear wasting the therapist’s time if they can’t articulate their struggles perfectly.

Here’s what we want you to know: you don’t need to have the right words to start therapy. In fact, helping you find those words is part of what therapy is for.

When Words Are Hard to Find

There are many reasons why putting your experience into words might be difficult:

Sometimes emotions exist in the body before they exist in language. You might feel a heaviness in your chest, a knot in your stomach, or a general sense of unease without knowing exactly what it means.

Sometimes experiences are too complex for simple explanations. Life rarely fits into neat categories or linear narratives. Trying to sum up your struggles in a paragraph can feel impossible.

Sometimes we lack the vocabulary for our internal experiences. If you weren’t raised in an environment where emotions were named and discussed, you might not have the words for what you’re feeling.

Sometimes there’s a disconnection between thoughts and feelings. You might intellectually understand what’s happening but feel emotionally confused, or vice versa.

Sometimes we’re just too close to our own experience to see it clearly. Like trying to read a book with the pages pressed against your face, you might need some distance to make sense of your situation.

All of these difficulties with articulation are normal human experiences—not signs that you’re doing something wrong or that you’re not ready for therapy.

Starting With “I Don’t Know”

At Televero Health, we find that “I don’t know” is often a perfect starting point for therapy. Far from being an obstacle, it can be the doorway to meaningful exploration.

When you say “I don’t know,” you’re acknowledging the truth of your experience. You’re letting go of the pressure to have everything figured out. You’re creating space for discovery rather than presentation.

Skilled therapists know how to work with uncertainty. They can help you explore vague feelings, half-formed thoughts, and unclear situations. They have tools and approaches specifically designed for clarifying what’s hard to articulate.

Many of our clients are surprised by how much can emerge when they give themselves permission to not know. When they stop trying to organize their experience into a perfect narrative and instead allow themselves to speak from the messy, unclear place where they actually are.

What Therapists Actually Need From You

Therapists don’t expect or need you to arrive with perfect clarity. What helps them most is not eloquence or organization, but honesty and openness.

Even statements like these give therapists plenty to work with:

“I’m not sure why I’m here, I just know something doesn’t feel right.”

“I’ve been feeling off lately but I can’t really explain how.”

“Things look fine on the outside but I feel like I’m struggling.”

“I don’t know if this is even what therapy is for, but…”

These vague starting points are completely normal and workable. In fact, many therapists find that clients who don’t have everything neatly packaged are often more open to genuine exploration.

At Televero Health, we value authenticity over articulateness. We’d much rather hear your messy truth than a polished explanation that doesn’t quite capture what’s really going on for you.

The Myth of the Perfect Narrative

Some people delay therapy because they’re trying to craft the perfect story about their struggles. They want to present a clear beginning, middle, and end, with all the relevant details in the right order.

But human experience rarely fits into such tidy packages. Our histories are complex, our emotions layered, our struggles interconnected in ways that don’t always make immediate logical sense.

Therapy isn’t about presenting a perfect narrative. It’s often about discovering the narrative you didn’t even know was there. Or recognizing that some experiences don’t fit neatly into narrative at all.

A good therapist doesn’t need you to connect all the dots. They’ll work with you to notice patterns, make connections, and gradually build understanding—not in a single session, but over time, as a collaborative process.

When Words Come Later

Many clients find that the ability to articulate their experiences develops through the therapy process itself. What begins as a vague feeling or confused thought gradually becomes clearer as they explore it in the therapeutic space.

This happens through various channels:

The simple practice of speaking aloud things that have only lived inside your mind

The therapist’s questions that help you examine your experience from new angles

The validation that comes from having your experience taken seriously, which can make it feel more real and defined

The therapist offering language or frameworks that might help name what you’re experiencing

The gradual building of self-awareness as you pay attention to patterns in your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors

At Televero Health, we’ve seen countless clients who started therapy saying “I don’t know what’s wrong” and gradually developed a much clearer understanding of their experiences. Not because they were hiding the answers, but because the clarity emerged through the process itself.

Beyond Words: Other Ways of Expressing

It’s worth noting that verbal articulation isn’t the only way to communicate in therapy. Depending on the therapist’s approach and your preferences, therapy might include:

Noticing and describing physical sensations

Using metaphors or images when literal descriptions feel inadequate

Working with creative expressions like drawing, writing, or movement

Exploring dreams or imagination

Simply sitting with feelings, allowing them to be present without immediate explanation

These non-verbal or partially verbal approaches can sometimes access experiences that are difficult to put into words. They can provide different entry points to understanding and expression.

Taking the Pressure Off

If you’ve been delaying therapy because you don’t know what to say or how to explain what’s wrong, we encourage you to take that pressure off yourself. You don’t need perfect words to begin the healing process.

Starting therapy isn’t about having the right language. It’s about being willing to show up, even in confusion or uncertainty. It’s about being open to exploration rather than already having the answers.

At Televero Health, we meet you exactly where you are—whether that’s with clear, articulate descriptions of your concerns or with the honest admission that you’re not sure what’s happening or why you’re struggling.

Both starting points are equally valid. Both can lead to meaningful growth and healing.

So if you’ve been waiting until you can perfectly explain what’s wrong before reaching out, consider this permission to begin exactly where you are—words or no words, clarity or confusion. The articulation doesn’t have to come first. Sometimes it’s the result, not the prerequisite, of therapeutic work.

Ready to start, even if you’re not sure what to say? We’re here to help you find the words.